My beloved, my Tacloban

Tacloban.

How I miss waking up in the morning and seeing the light of the sun fill up our room. When I look out the window, I would see the sun peaking on the east, resting on tip of the island near the city. How I miss trying to catch a jeepney, usually full of passengers, cursing the way time seemed to go faster when I was late for school. I miss squeezing in with the other passengers, with mothers carrying their children, teens with their eyes stuck to their dog-eared notes, kids sticking their head out the window though they’ve been scolded over and over again, and all their convetsations easily understood. 
I miss looking at the neighborhoods that the jeep would pass by, how I memorized when to make the sign of the cross with every church, how I knew every turn and how the passengers would bump into each other when the driver would hit the breaks harshly. 
I miss riding the motorcycle to school, how I memorized every street, was in awe with every new establishment, and felt giddy whenevrer I saw a cute guy walking on the street. I miss the conversations some drivers would open, mostly about what has been happening in the city. I miss seeing the stores open, the clanging of their steel doors resounding through the street. I miss running towards my room, with friends teasing me for being late again as I rushed. 
I miss going to downtown to have lunch, the streets filled with students and employees in familiar tailored uniforms. I miss waiting in line at the restaurant, as the women in front of me gossiped about their coworkers. I miss going “store hopping”, as I easily go in and out department stores and thrift shops, making a mental wishlist of what to save for next. I miss going to Sto. Niño Church for a mass, or even just to light a candle worth one peso. I miss struggling to get into a motorcycle back to school, as most drivers were having their lunch too.
 I miss going home in the afternoon, the city slowly lulling itself to sleep as the fight for jeepneys start again. I miss standing at the jeepney stop, saying “hi” to former classmates and friends that I would see. I miss falling asleep in the jeep, resting on my arm as the driver waited for passengers to fill his vehicle. I miss seeing the city lights as we passed them by, and feeling excited whenever I got a peak at the big construction cranes that was labeled with a big time mall’s logo. I miss seeing the sea near the market, the way it twinkled with the night light.
I miss the noise of the market as employees still in uniform try to strike deals with the vendors for a cheaper price with their products.  I miss those preachers, armed with either a megaphone or a microphone,  who would read verses from the bible to those who wanted to listen as they stood on a make shift platform on the old waiting shed. I miss the foul stench of rotten vegetables as the local trash collectors rounded it all up onto one container.
I miss passing by the neighborhoods once again, with parents going inside their houses from a hard day’s work. I miss the traffic that big trucks would start, as they turn towards their respective parking lots  I miss the barking of our dog whenever he would see me open our gate. I miss the way I would scream “I’m hoooome!” and get a kiss from my youngest sister as I entered our house. 
I miss going to sleep around twelve in the morning, my eyes drooping from either studying or writing another story. 
I miss my dear Tacloban, the city I’ve lived in for most of my life. And as it struggles to stand, amidst corrupt and opportunist politicians and its citizens fleeing to other places, I know that it will rise again. It will rise again not because people want to, but because it needs to. 
Tacloban is not just a place. It is not just a city. It is almost human, caring for its citizens for years. Tacloban helped raised people with values, with a positive outlook in life, and people with ambitions that are strong enough to move mountains. And now that Tacloban is hurting, it is about time its children began to pay back. 
Taclobanons, we shall rise again. Let’s not just return Tacloban as it once was, but let us make it even better. Tacloban, you will rise again!

Love in the time of Haiyan



Here are short love stories that have been passed by the mouth. They are real stories about Taclobanons during and after the storm. I have written them in the character’s perspective, making it sort of fiction yet the gist of the story is still there. 


Swept away


As the flood water entered our house, I could hear the muffled cries of my kids upstairs. My wife and I were up on a table, trying to save as much furniture as we could. She passed me the DVD player while I carried it upstairs. We did this as fast as we could, the water looking like it would be at knee level. The wind roared outside, and I could feel my ears going deaf because of how strong it was.

“Check on the kids honey. Antonio may be hungry.” My wife said, painting a smile on her face. I nodded, and kissed her on the cheek.

“Antonio? Leah? Are you kids okay?” I said as I climbed the last step of the stairs.

“Papa! The water is entering our room!” Leah panicked, hugging my waist tightly. I made my way to their room, and sure enough water was slowly getting into the room because of their shattered window.

“Get into the master’s bedroom now!” I bellowed.

“Where’s Mama?” Antonio asked, his eyes wet with tears.

I ran towards the stairs as fast as I could. The water was rushing in with the wind ushering it, our door broken in half. I looked onto the spot where I left her, looking for that reassuring smile that could lift spirits. But what I only saw water raging our house with gusto.

That’s when I realized, she was gone.


Looking for her

I smiled when I woke up because I knew I’d find her today.

Left and right I would see debris and fallen trees as I made my way towards Tacloban. People were walking beside me, like zombies looking for brains. There were zipped up bodies everywhere, and my heart wretched at the possibility that she could be in one of them.

“Noel! You’re alive!” Julio made his way towards me, a smile on his face. He gestured to give me a hug, but I shook my head.

“I’m looking for Leila. Have you seen her? She said she was going back.”

Julio shook his head, then gave me a pat on the back before leaving. The streets were becoming unrecognizable because of the missing buildings as I made my way towards downtown. Some people were crying as they carried dead bodies, and some people had blood trickling down their leg. When I was near the church, I saw her walking towards the gate.

“Leila! Leila!” I grabbed her shoulder, which made her jerk towards me. “Where have you been?”

“Who are you?” 

It turned out that it wasn’t her. I said my apologies to the woman, then began to look for her again. As the sun made its way down, I felt dismayed I didn’t  find her, but tomorrow is always another day. When I saw my house I saw a newly dug grave beside it. I felt enraged that someone would bury their dead beside my house, so I marched towards the grave and intended to pull out the body. There was a cross on top of it, with a writing on it.

“Leila Montenegro”

A thousand memories flashed, the last one showing how I buried her lifeless body beside the house. I began to cry hysterically, thrashing out on her grave. Five neighbors carried me towards the house, the floors filled with mud and rain water. I thanked them, and soon fell asleep.

When morning came, I smiled to myself. I’m going to find her today.


Almost Saved


When I woke up, I saw water slowly making its way to my room. Panic began to surge through my veins, as my laptop that I placed on the floor began to float. I instantly grabbed it, along with my other things and climbed the top of the bunk bed.  I don’t know why I didn’t wake up when the storm started, as the wind seemed to be roaring to make its presence known. Since I lived in the dorm room all by myself, no one could have warned me. Haiyan began to whistle, like a scary movie about to take me.

“Help! Help!” I screamed, trying to get the attention of the others. 

The lights were off, making matters worse. My window was already shattered into pieces, and outside I could see the water rushing onto houses with force. I cringed when I saw one of the roofs flying through the sky, along with big leaves from coconut trees. The water below me began to rise, but I had no way out. Who knows how deep the water is on the first floor. I began to call out to the others again, but no one seemed to answer. I began to worry about my dorm-mates who lived in the first floor, who were heavy sleepers like me.

When I looked at the mirror that I hung on my wall, I saw my swollen eyes and red nose. I remembered how I broke up with Mike last night, with things getting nasty. I felt my eyes began to tear up again, as there was a chance that I might never see him again. Though I hated his guts, he was still my first love.

“Katy! Katy!” I must have been hallucinating, because I knew I heard his voice. “Katy where are you?”

My heart began to beat hysterically, threatening to leap out of my chest. The water was about waist level now, and I knew no one could survive coming here. Especially if they came for me. I soon saw a flashlight come through the bottom of my door as it reflected onto the water. 

“Mike! I’m in my room! Mike, I’m here!” The door flung open, and revealed a very soaked version of my supposedly ex boyfriend. The water was at his stomach level, and with the door open it made the water rise faster. 

“Come on Katy! Everyone is on the third floor!” I was about to jump onto his open arms when the water began to rise to his chest. His eyes widened, and he climbed up next to me. I immediately hugged him, forgetting for a moment that this guy was a jerk. The water continued to rise as we backed up against the wall, the cold wind entering the room. My teeth began to clatter, so he hugged me tighter.

“Some rescue huh?” He said, his voice reverberating in his chest. When I looked up he was smiling at me like an idiot, and I jokingly punched his arm. The storm still raged outside, and the water was now almost near the second bunk bed.

“What if we die here?” I asked, my voice small. 

“Then I’d be happy I died with you.”


That was the last thing I heard him say, before flood water from our window came gushing in, filling my lungs with water. My hand grabbed his with all my strength, before I blacked out.


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The last story was inspired by someone telling me about people finding a body of a male and female holding hands and frozen. May all of the souls in these stories rest in peace.

My mother’s journey

Our house after the storm



As I sat up on our makeshift bed, which was made of a wet comforter and wet pillows laid on the floor, my heart broke. It wasn’t a dream after all.

It was a day after the storm, and I was still getting used to the fact that the strongest storm in the world damaged my hometown. The part of the window that was broken could easily peek onto our town, which was filled with washed out houses and trees on the road. The huge truck that “floated” towards the road was moved, which helped people to cross the road without difficulty. But the mess and the reminder of the storm were still there. 

The afternoon after the storm, one of my uncles came over and helped us with some of the mess. He fixed one of the gates to create some kind of security in our house. Our gas burner was luckily saved, and we scouted what we could yesterday from our grandmother’s store: canned goods, noddles and such. Since our kitchen was not passable yet, we could not reach our own canned goods. We had three jugs of clean drinking water which were luckily still sealed.

As the sun began to peak over the horizon, I began to make my way downstairs. It was not as messy as the day before, since we have moved some furniture around to let others pass through the living room easily. The two broken widows on either side of the door were covered with curtains. I began to boil water and cook breakfast, which was made of Spam and noodles. Our day was set to begin cleaning my grandmother’s house, whose furniture have stacked together. It was going to be a long day.

(Meanwhile, in a giant airplane a thousand miles up)

My eyes feel heavy as I wait inside the military plane. Beside me were men and volunteers on route towards Tacloban, my hometown. Since the storm hit yesterday I have been sleepless, trying to calm myself. I have lost communication with my daughter since the storm, and the news of how devastating it was worsened my worry for my family. Through multiple connections I managed to get a flight in a C130 military plane, the second plane to reach Tacloban since the storm. I only had two hours of sleep, listening to the news and looking out for any sign that they would be okay.

Soldiers beside me began to gasp and curse, so I took a peek from the window. What I saw was simply heartbreaking: everything in Tacloban seemed to be washed out. The moonlight shone on the sea, giving light to the pieces of wood that once held up houses. The airport that we were going to land on was not the same as before, the control tower and the main building missing windows and roofs. 

When I got off the plane, a cold chill went up my spine. I grabbed my luggage as I made my way towards the exit of the airport, which was practically missing. With no phone service I could not contact anyone to fetch me from the airport, so I began to walk. There were no leaves in the trees, the roads covered with furniture, wood and other things that belong in a house. There were dead bodies lined up on the road, covered with cloth. I did my best to not look at them, their family members mourning beside them. 

After a few minutes I spot a familiar face, and I called him immediately. He was my friend and a known philanthropist, riding in a black motorcycle. He was a heaven sent savior for me, as he offered to give me a ride home. Faces of my kids began to flash in my mind, worrying immensely of their safety. My heart sank when I thought of my mother and sister, who were under the care of my kids. 

When we were halfway to the house, the motorcycle suddenly ran out of gas. My friend promised to come back for me, leaving me in a building for shelter. It was a place I would pass by everyday, but it looked foreign as there was no more roof or windows. I waited for what seemed like hours, determined to get home. My friend finally arrived a while later, and we made our way home. Left and right I would see the houses that were barely there, fallen tree trunks and roofs on the pavement. I saw the school that my kids went to, barely recognizable. I shivered as I saw an arm sticking out of a rubble, frozen and turning black. 

As my house came to view, I saw that there were no roof nor windows on the house that I lived my whole life in. Trees and furniture were outside, the gate broken and it looked like no one was home. I immediately rushed to my own house, and saw the destruction. My breathing and heart rate hitched up as it looked ghostly, and my throat seemed to close up.

“Le-an!” 

I began to call. A thousand thoughts began to enter my head, one of them concluding that I didn’t have my eldest daughter in that house. I was scared that someone would say “Le-an is not here anymore”. But I steeled myself as I tried to make my voice louder.

“Le-an!”

There was a pause, maybe the longest pause of my life. But the best feeling washed over me as I heard her voice.

“Mommy!”

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As I mentioned on my previous blog, my mom was in Manila during the storm as she was called for a work training. She told us her story on how she got home, a very inspirational story of how a determined mother did everything to come home. I love my mom. <3

Here are some pictures, as promised:

These pictures were during the first day, right after the storm.

These pictures were during the first day, right after the storm.

These pictures were during the first day, right after the storm.

This was on the second day, after we’ve cleaned up a bit. Still, the damage was devastating.

This was on the second day, after we’ve cleaned up a bit. Still, the damage was devastating.


This was on the second day, after we’ve cleaned up a bit. Still, the damage was devastating.

Meeting Haiyan: The first hand experience

 


It’s been more than a week since the super typhoon, but I remember it like it just happened.

When I woke up at around 5 am, it was dark, since our electricity was already cut a few hours ago. Since our bedroom had glass doors, I could clearly see the trees bending and about to break, the clouds in a dangerous grey. I knew that Haiyan was bearing its teeth, smiling evilly. I knew that it has landed in Guiuan, the eastern side of Samar which was a three hour drive from Tacloban. I had three hours to get my family ready, as it was estimated to hit our city at eight that morning. The house began to creek and the wind began to whistle. We joked around, saying that the wind knew how to whistle and my sister could not. Little did we know, that the wind would soon whistle harder.

Since my mom couldn’t get home from Manila because of a work training, it was just me, my three siblings, my grandmother and my aunt at home. I started my day like it was normal, deciding to cook chicken for breakfast. Our kitchen was located at our grandmother’s house, a door away from our own house. The wind outside began to pick up, the rain accompanying the storm. My siblings went to my grandmother’s room, which was located on the first floor. Since I could not check on the house myself, I asked my brother to go to our living room to make sure things are fine. 

That was the last normal thing that happened.

The roof of our garage began to strip itself, hurling towards my grandmother’s garden. Their dog was barking furiously, but we were afraid to go out  because of the wind. The water from the outside poured through the roof, the drip drops becoming a slow stream of water. When I finished cooking, I checked on my brother who still did not return. Our main door, which was a huge and made of wood, was threatening to burst open because of the wind. He blocked the door with two of our strongest chairs, whose width covered most of the door. 

I went back to my grandmother’s house to check on them, my feet were met by rainwater on the floor. One of the wood that framed the window suddenly flew towards the floor, and water came rushing in. Just when I thought it could not get worse, one of the wooden panels of our roof fell. With the two holes providing the water a way to get in the house, I led my grandmother and aunt towards our house. I went towards our room to fetch my phone, but the room was already wet. The culprit? Our door was already open, the glass sliding door before it was already in pieces. The roof was shaking, our ceiling fan looking like it was hanging by a thread. I frantically called my brother and my sister, and we tried to push our bed towards the door. But it only made matters worse, making the other door open with force. We decided to take the important things towards my brothers room, like our files, gadgets and such. The heavy drawers felt like lightweight, as the adrenalin started to kick in. Outside you could see the outline of the EYE of the storm, hovering and as threatening as it could be.

My grandmother’s house was already full of water, which could be seen from our window. My grandmother began to cry hysterically, mumbling and praying. My sister began to cry too, feeling hopeless and praying that our house wouldn’t be destroyed. I tried my best to calm them down, suggesting that we go downstairs for breakfast. When my eyes landed on my brother, his arms were clutching the wooden chair, the door still fighting the wind. He told us to hurriedly eat, his voice shaking as he used his strength on the chair. We all hurriedly lit our candles, prayed then began to eat. 

But when I heard my sister shriek, I noticed the water in our living room. Water was rushing from our main door and from the door leading towards our grandmother’s house, and another rush of adrenalin began to surge in my veins. I told them to pack everything; the canned goods, the biscuit and even the newly cooked chicken, and run upstairs. My brother was still struggling with the door as we packed everything in our plastic container. The water was already at our knees when we rushed towards the stairs. By the time I reached my brother, which was just seconds, the huge window which was as tall as our main door exploded, the water surging towards us. My brother let go of the door as he helped my grandmother who almost fell because of the impact of water. 

They all went upstairs, and I was left behind as I remembered the lamp and the matches. But by the time I stepped onto our living room the water was already at my chest level. The match, which was in my mouth as I carried the lamp , fell onto the water as I screamed for my brother. All our furniture began to flow towards me, the heavy chairs and desks blocking my way. In that second I thought that it was the end, I thought that I would die.

When my brother peeked from the stairs, I began to swam frantically towards him, giving him my things. Our dog swam beside me, reaching the stairs before I did. I don’t know how I did it, but I stretched my leg and climbed the tenth stair and ran towards the second floor. The wind coming from our room blew as hard as it could as I went towards the girl’s room. It was spacey, and the farthest room in the house. It was also the only room that had minimal water on the floor since water only came from the roof, which was just luckily small drips. 

When we got there we were all shaken, and began to pray the rosary. It seemed to calm us, though the wind sounded like a huge car revving up, like vrooooooom. The roaring of the wind began to shake our house like an earthquake, deafening our hearing as our ears seemed to pop like we were inside a pressured airplane. We began to cover the documents with our blankets, insuring that they would be dry. That was when I checked the time: it was only nine in the morning, four hours since I woke up. We tried to eat, but food seemed to lose its taste. When my brother and I checked our window that faced our stairs, the flood reached the third step from the top of the stairs. And outside (we looked through a broken window that faced the west side of the house) the water was taller outside than inside. My brother and I feared that the water would enter the second floor, so we planned to climb our double deck bed in case. We went back to the room to soothe our crying grandmother and sisters.

But do you know the best part? We were soon laughing, joking as if there wasn’t a storm outside. There were moments when we would be quiet, and the wind would take it as a cue to roar again. For two more hours we stayed in that room, praying more, quivering from the storm. And when we got the strength to go downstairs, my heart dropped to my stomach with what I saw. 

Our two gates were broken, and the one stuck to cement fell towards the house. Our two big windows were broken, the door still intact but and had a lot of scratches. All of my mother’s big vases were broken, leaving only the little ones. The floor was covered in mud and uncooked riceAll of our pictures were either smudged or covered with mud. . The furniture were all scattered, none of them in their previous places. Shattered glass were everywhere. And when we got to take a look outside, it was worse. Every house was either see through, had no roof, or washed out. The small stores were flooded, and roads were covered with trees. 

The storm was gone, but our problems merely started.

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Phew. I tried my best not to cry as I wrote that post. It was simply nerve racking. I will post some pictures of our house on the next blog post. Above you can see a new portion of my blog labeled “The Haiyan Experience” I will post the eight days that I stayed in Tacloban after the storm, before we moved here in Cebu. Please follow my blog if you’d like to read more.

On a lighter note, I was published on the “Thick Jam” website, my story is the first you’d see on the site. If you want to read that story, which was submitted a week before the storm, here’s the site: www.thickjam.com

The morning before the storm


When I woke up this morning, the sky looked like a gray canvas.

Slowly, I could hear the pitter patter of rain pouring down on our roof. The trees were still, but I knew that soon they would be bending. The streets were bare, empty of vehicles except for the man riding a bicycle with a rainbow colored raincoat on. The “calm before the storm” has already passed, the warm night turning into a cold morning. I listened to the radio all night long, and when I woke up they were just announcing that the storm was brewing near.

I checked my siblings, all who were still asleep and oblivious to what was happening. I observed the things around me: the quiet hum of the AC, the jingle of the ceiling fan as it turns, the music coming from the radio. I reminded myself that one the storm hits, all of the electricity would be cut. The candles have been ready for use since last night, the flashlights’ batteries all new. My biggest fear of sleeping in the dark without the street lights on donned on me, but I had to be strong.

Soon the rain poured harder, making me more nervous. My other siblings woke up, also shocked with how the sky looked like. The super typhoon was minutes away from making land fall, hitting our region first. It would be scary to think that the storm was getting stronger as it passed the Pacific. Cars began to rush by, making the water on the pavement swoosh with every tire it comes in contact with.

Around eight, it became eerily silent. It made me doubt that maybe the storm would not pass us. Cars began to fill the roads, the drivers honking loudly, trying to rush on home. It became significantly warmer, although the sky still held its gloomy color. The news still said that the storm was going to hit soon, and classes were suspended for all. The social sites all boomed with worry from people who has loved ones here, and some expressed their fear.

In the end, we could only hope for the best, and expect that things wouldn’t take a turn for the worst. You can never be prepared enough for what is about to happen. And even if I don’t look forward to meeting this storm eye-to-eye, I just hope it passes by quickly without much damage. 

Candle lit storm

Everything was set.

The candles were by my side, along with the matches and the flashlights. It was eerily quiet outside, and it didn’t help that I was alone in my apartment. The news informed me that it has entered the country’s area of responsibility minutes ago, and was now moving fast and furiously towards our region. 

I expected the lights to go out anytime soon, so I had my emergency lights ready. I was deathly afraid of the dark and thunder, so this would definitely not end well for me. I sat in the middle of my bed, away from mirrors and windows.

“Beth, someone is calling. Beeeeeth. It’s meeeeee.”

The recorded ringtone filled my apartment, and it filled me with irritation. I didn’t spare it a glance, afraid that if I answered my phone it would go empty. I walked towards my curtain covered windows, and saw that there wasn’t a cloud in sight. The stars gleamed as if nothing was about to happen. The only thing I heard was the soft beat of my heart, and the vehicles that passed in front of the building.

“Beth, someone is..”

I turned off my phone immediately, before safely stashing it under my pillow. I began to get paranoid, as I imagined the apartment flooding until the fifth floor. I imagined all my things getting wet, my whole life’s work ruined by it. I turned on the TV to calm my nerves, but I regretted it immediately as a flash report showed.

“A 4:00 PM TODAY, THE EYE OF TYPHOON WITH INTERNATIONAL NAME “HAIYAN” WAS LOCATED BASED ON ALL AVAILABLE DATA AT 1,221 KM EAST OF MINDANO WITH MAXIMUM SUSTAINED WINDS OF 175 KPH AND GUSTINESS OF UP TO 210 KPH. IT IS FORECAST TO MOVE WEST NORTHWEST AT 30 KPH.”

I shivered at the thought of the storm that it was stronger than a bulldozer, and changed the channel. However no matter how I tried, I still wanted to listen more to the news. The skies still hasn’t shown any changes in the weather, and it was the “calm before the storm” phase. 

I began to cuddle up in my comforter, trying to rid my mind of fear. A thud from my window made me sit up straight, as I slowly turned towards an intruder. He covered my hand before I had the chance to scream, and I childishly licked it so he would let go.

“Eew! What are you, five?” He asked disgusted. He began to wipe his hand on his pants, his brows scrunched together.

“I’m five and a half actually.” I stuck my tongue out to him, and that was only when I realized that he was soaking wet. “Is it already raining outside?”

He gave me a ‘duh’ look which irritated me, before he finally spoke. “I’ve been calling you for the last thirty minutes so I could get into your apartment before it started raining. But is seems like your phone is turned off.”

I ignored him, looking around the apartment for a shirt he could use. “Here. Take those clothes off and wear some of my big shirts.”

His smile widened and his brows wiggled suggestively, as he took off his shirt. And he actually didn’t look that bad. Okay, maybe he has some kind of a toned stomach that I could only dream of, but he was still annoying. It was then I realized that he has been observing my reaction, and he grinned like a kid. I threw the shirt towards him in embarrassment, and moved to look outside. Surely enough it was raining, but it was only more of a drizzle.

“You can look now.” I turned towards him, and found myself in a pickle. He was a few inches from me, and when I turned around I slammed onto his chest. I felt him chuckle, and I scooted myself towards the right to avoid him.

“Jerk.” I muttered.

“I heard that.”

“You were supposed to.” I smirked at him, before returning to my bed. Soon he sprawled himself on the bed like he owned the place, and I kicked him on the side. But damn, he was really strong and hard as a rock. I groaned, trying to push him off.

“Stop trying princess. This guy is as strong.” He smugly said, showing off his developed biceps  It irritated me more that he saw me struggle, so I stopped trying. Soon the rain began to fall harder, and a whip of thunder began to echo in the skies. I instinctively covered my ears, and soon enough the sound went away.

“Awwe. Wittle Beth afwaid of a wittle thunder?” He cooed. It frustrated me more when he saw me vulnerable, but it was too late to go back now. So instead I ignored him, turning around to avoid looking at his arrogant face. I closed my eyes and tried to push myself into sleep, when another roll of thunders began to resound all over the room.

“Jiminy cricket!” I groaned. He began to laugh at me, finding amusement in my choice of words.

“Oh Beth, you’re really something.”

“Oh Bryan, you’re really nothing.”

“Ouch princess. That stung.” He feigned hurt, clutching his ‘sore’ heart. “Is this how you would treat your hero who did everything to come here?”

“Yeah, like you came here for me. I know you have a girlfriend on the second floor. What happened play boy, did she kick you out or something? That’s why you came running to you dear old best friend?” He scoffed at me, so I added. “How many women have you dated in my building?”

He began to say names, mostly apartment numbers, with his fingers. In the end he held up eight with a huge grin. “But I did come here for you, you know. I promised your dad I’d look after you.”

“I don’t need a babysitter.”

Thunder once again boomed, and I found myself crawling towards him. I closed my eyes and hugged him tight until the sound went away. When I opened my eyes, there was no light.

“Bryan, please tell me you just turned off the lights and that there is still electricity.” I prayed that he would say yes, knowing his full craving for pranks, especially when it came to me.

“I-can’t-breathe!” I let go of him immediately, forgetting that I was literally holding on to him for dear life. I gave him a sheepish smile as the color returned to his face. “As you can see, I was struggling to breath as a monkey practically jumped on me, so there’s no way I did that.” I punched him lightly on his shoulder for the “monkey” bit, but soon this playfulness went away when I realized it was really dark.

“Wait! The candles!” I sprung off the bed, immediately lighting the candles that I have set. The room soon was lighted dimly, giving off a warm vibe. The wind outside picked up, almost whistling. I opened the window for a peak, and I saw coconut trees bending as if it was about to break. The storm is here.

“Hey, you okay?” His warm hand made contact with my shoulder that was shaking. “Calm down okay? I’m here for you.” He guided me towards the bed, and he cuddled me into his arms. It was such a familiar feeling, with him always being there when I needed him. The sounds of things hitting on something began to frighten me, as the storm began to become harsher with every dragging minute.

“Bryan, don’t leave me okay?” My heart literally began to beat harder, as I gazed onto his eyes. Under the light of the candles he seemed different, unlike the bad boy I knew him to be. He had soft eyes that were staring at me, that reflected the dancing light. The shadows on his face seemed to gradually morph him into looking like an angel. That was when I realized that I love this guy in front of me, and it was unnerving to think that I have been in love with him for years. 

In that moment I forgot about everything else: I forgot about the storm, his long list of exes, and the fact that his pants were still wet from the rain. I was only concentrated on him. Soon his lips turned into a smile, as he kissed my forehead. Before I went to a peaceful sleep, I heard him say something.


“I’d always be here princess.”

——————————-
Not entirely fiction, as the news report above is real. There really IS a super hurricane coming here in the Philippines, and is expected to hit our city TOMORROW since we’re near the Pacific. I’m really scared, mostly because there are rumors that it’s going to be another strong one. I hope everything would be okay. 

What did you think of the story though? 🙂

Mr. Dream Guy



I’ve always dreamed of someone

Who’ll make his love show

That when I’m sad and full of dismay,

He’ll always know what to say

That everytime I throw a fit and when i’m mad

he’ll calm me down and hold my hand


That when i’m tired and unwell,

He’ll always be there for me,in a ring of a bell

He’ll say sweet things that will tickle my heart

And will promise me that we will never part

He’ll call me in the middle of the night,

Wishing he can hold me tight


He’ll make me laugh to a point of tears,

Washing away all my fears

He’ll take me to walks by the moon,

Making cute faces like a funny cartoon


He’ll gladly hold my hand in front of his friends,

Telling them it was “us” till the end

He’ll run after me through the rain,

Holding me on through the pain


He’ll dance with me though there’s no music

And he’ll steal a kiss real quick

He’ll sing sweet melodies into my ears,

With a song that only both our hearts can hear…
————————————–
This was my first ever published poem on our school paper, age 13. I’m just a hopeless romantic through and through. 😀

I survived

Everything seemed dark, gray and DEAD. My breathing got more laboured, as my hands quivered. My heart twitched and ached in all places, as I tried to stay ALIVE. Just when I thought I conquered all my fears, this one kind of hell blew up all over my face, as lava of hot tears flowed through. The bittersweet taste of betrayal and anger lingered on my lips, as I remembered the last kiss, the last thing we shared together, the last moment when you really loved me. I tried to keep my heart from blowing up into pieces, tried not to over react, but the words blew up in all direction. Everything in me was dying; every cell was destroying the other.
It seems like centuries ago when I last looked straight into your eyes and said “I LOVE YOU”. Fast forward through time, through the sweet nothings and half-hearted apologies, I spend my nights hating the songs we once loved, waking up crying whenever I saw u in my dreams, the memories eating me alive. I spent my days thinking of what went wrong, lost in the world of anticipation of a better tomorrow. I kept myself busy, coping with the drastic change, as I filled the empty void that was once filled by you. I never thought my heart would have ached for you like that. I would sometimes catch myself staring blankly into the air, trying to fill my mind with meaningless thought, avoiding the thought of you.
But as the sun hid and rose from the mountains, I started to hate myself for acting so hopeless, for drifting into a nightmare I built to protect myself. As soon as I realized that, delusions of a better tomorrow became more real, as I started to accept defeat from the aimless cupid. I slowly and surely gained conscience of the things I have done, the things I have achieved and lost. I no longer felt the rush of regret, but rather, the rush of being someone new.
I may never find the heart to forgive you for what you did to me, for making me go through all those things just to forget you, but what I do want to do is to thank you. Because of you jerking off leaving me bleeding half to death, I found the courage to become stronger when it came to love. I have finally moved on, and am going through my life great without you. To that, I say, I survived. 
——————————–
So that was a little dark. I wrote this when I was FOURTEEN. I think I was moving on from someone, and I really like to overreact on things and that’s how I write. Keep in mind this was all but a crush, one sided feelings. I thought like a “matured” kid then. It’s all so, weird to read what I wrote then. (shivers)

THORoughly in love


With his dirty blonde hair and muscular arms,
He turns my stomach into a butterfly farm.

With that red cape and manly face,

He’s my only saving grace.


With every swing of his hammer,

He makes my heart beat a little faster.

And though he has a handsome brother,

That doesn’t mean he isn’t any hotter.


I swoon for the son of Odin,

And I faint for his every grin.

Oh Thor, handsome Thor.

You make my heart stop once more.

I yearn for the man from Asgard,
who really deserves an award.
He makes women forget about their lovers,
As men gawk at his awesome powers.


Leave Jane Foster behind

cause it isn’t meant to be.

Look no further to the nine universes,

Cause the one you’re meant to be with

Is me.

———————–
Soooo. I watched Thor today. (Obviously) He’s just so, ugh. Frustrated teen here. (Don’t tell my boyfriend!) 😀

Eternally yours



I struggled to sit up on the cemented hedge, and when I did I crossed my legs together. Throngs of cars soon came to view, early morning families who came to visit the others. I soon lost count on how many people came and went as the sun rose to the highest point in the big blue sky. I began to wonder if anyone would visit me today, as I stared in envy for all my friends who wore happy faces.

“Hi Emily!”

My head snapped towards the source of the voice, a smile creeping up my face. Finally! I couldn’t contain my happiness, and I soon jumped onto my sister and hugged her tight.

“I missed you too little kid.” She joked. Even though I’m already 25, she still treats me like I’m 5. I still was so happy she came, and that I wasn’t forgotten. Soon I saw the whole family walk towards me, with flowers and sandwiches in hand. 

My mom and dad were walking hand-in-hand, a sad smile on their face. But never the less I was thrilled to see them as they approached me. I gave them a warm embrace, their scent engulfing me. They always smelled like the old people that they are.

“Hey Em. Your brother’s here too.” My dad said, showing me a little kid who was a spitting image of the man I saw as my superman. He had black hair like my dad, had the same nose and eyes. The only thing that he inherited from my mom was the fact that he was shy. I pinched his cheeks, and he didn’t look bothered by it. At least he’s warming up to me now.

“Dad, is that my sister?” Tommy asked.

My dad nodded with a proud look on his face. “She’s the best sister in the world Tom.”

“And the most annoying one.” My sister quipped. The whole family began to laugh, at my expense as usual. They soon set up the mat on the floor, opened the huge umbrella and gave the sandwiches out. My sister placed the flowers in front of me, and lit up a candle in the middle of everyone. 

Soon small conversations started here and there, as more people seemed to come in. It was soon crowded, with people going in and out like crazy.
But my family didn’t seem fazed by it, as they continued to talk to each other, trying to get me to join in. The sound of my sister’s phone broke off the conversations, as we all pried on her call.

“We’re here with her. Yes, with the whole family. Yes, you could come. Goodbye.” She turned off her phone with a smile, and she peered to the right and began to wave frantically at someone. My heart skipped like a rock when I saw who she was waving at. He still looked as handsome as ever, although his eyes looked sad.

He was thinner, but he still walked like the angels themselves made sure he didn’t trip. He smiled when he saw my family, who all cajoled him to come closer. He sat right beside me, accidentally brushing his hand on my arm. It immediately sent a thousand familiar sparks throughout my body, jolting me awake from my day dream of him.

“Hey everyone. Little Tommy.” I smiled when he greeted my brother specially, which made the young boy smile a bit. My mother offered him a sandwich that he ate with gusto. That boy was too addicted to my mom’s famous sandwiches.

“How’s work John?” My father asked; his voice soft.

“It was fine sir. So far so good.” He said without a trace of smugness. Gotta love that in a man.

“You know you can call me Keith, or Dad.” My father offered a small smile, which John returned. I could feel my cheeks burn up, and my lips aching from the smile that never went away since I saw him. After a few minutes of idle chatter, my mother stood up and instructed everyone to do the same. The mat was rolled, the sandwiches kept. My dad held to Tommy, my mom beside him, my sister and John followed.

“In the name of the Father…” My mother started to say. She then proceeded to pray, my family and John joining in whenever possible. I soon felt my heart become lighter, stronger even. “And Lord, please bless the soul of my daughter, Emily Bright, and receive her soul as we have received You in our lives. All this we pray in the name of the Lord.”

“Amen.” They answered. One by one they left, kissing the cement that I was sitting on merely an hour ago.

“Bye Emiwy!” Tommy said, waving towards me. I waved back, smiling at the little kid. 

John left last, his fingers playing with our wedding ring. He kneeled to face the cement hedge, and began to etch out the words that were carved onto it. ‘In memory of Emily Bright. A daughter, a wife, a sister and a hero. 1986-2011’

“You’d always be a hero to Tommy, Em. I’d make sure he would never forget the day you jumped in front of that car for him.” He held out flowers, placing them in front of me.
“I miss you.” He whispered. “I miss hearing your laugh. Sometimes I miss you so much I forget to eat.” I narrowed my eyes towards him, and he chuckled. “I know that if you were here right now you’d narrow your eyes and yell at me to take care of myself more, but it’s so darn hard Em. I miss you.”

I touched his cheek, caressing him softly.

“Em? Is that you?” I nodded, though I knew he wouldn’t see me. “I know you’re here Em. I could smell the perfume you always wore.” He inhaled deeply, as if savouring every scent. “If you’re there Em, wait for me okay? Don’t go falling in love with angels or other souls. You’re mine. You’re married to me remember?”

I smiled at him with tears slowly making their way to my cheeks. Before I could stop myself I kissed him right on the lips. He smiled as he touched his lips, shaking his head and chuckling.

“Just, save me a seat up there okay? I love you.” He kissed the carving, and began to walk away. My heart went with him, following him everywhere.

I was eternally his, after all.
—————————————–
Fiction. Today was all souls day here in the Philippines, and a lot of people went to the cemeterey to remember all those who went before us. I love this story personally, not just because I wrote it. <3