My beloved, my Tacloban

Tacloban.

How I miss waking up in the morning and seeing the light of the sun fill up our room. When I look out the window, I would see the sun peaking on the east, resting on tip of the island near the city. How I miss trying to catch a jeepney, usually full of passengers, cursing the way time seemed to go faster when I was late for school. I miss squeezing in with the other passengers, with mothers carrying their children, teens with their eyes stuck to their dog-eared notes, kids sticking their head out the window though they’ve been scolded over and over again, and all their convetsations easily understood. 
I miss looking at the neighborhoods that the jeep would pass by, how I memorized when to make the sign of the cross with every church, how I knew every turn and how the passengers would bump into each other when the driver would hit the breaks harshly. 
I miss riding the motorcycle to school, how I memorized every street, was in awe with every new establishment, and felt giddy whenevrer I saw a cute guy walking on the street. I miss the conversations some drivers would open, mostly about what has been happening in the city. I miss seeing the stores open, the clanging of their steel doors resounding through the street. I miss running towards my room, with friends teasing me for being late again as I rushed. 
I miss going to downtown to have lunch, the streets filled with students and employees in familiar tailored uniforms. I miss waiting in line at the restaurant, as the women in front of me gossiped about their coworkers. I miss going “store hopping”, as I easily go in and out department stores and thrift shops, making a mental wishlist of what to save for next. I miss going to Sto. Niño Church for a mass, or even just to light a candle worth one peso. I miss struggling to get into a motorcycle back to school, as most drivers were having their lunch too.
 I miss going home in the afternoon, the city slowly lulling itself to sleep as the fight for jeepneys start again. I miss standing at the jeepney stop, saying “hi” to former classmates and friends that I would see. I miss falling asleep in the jeep, resting on my arm as the driver waited for passengers to fill his vehicle. I miss seeing the city lights as we passed them by, and feeling excited whenever I got a peak at the big construction cranes that was labeled with a big time mall’s logo. I miss seeing the sea near the market, the way it twinkled with the night light.
I miss the noise of the market as employees still in uniform try to strike deals with the vendors for a cheaper price with their products.  I miss those preachers, armed with either a megaphone or a microphone,  who would read verses from the bible to those who wanted to listen as they stood on a make shift platform on the old waiting shed. I miss the foul stench of rotten vegetables as the local trash collectors rounded it all up onto one container.
I miss passing by the neighborhoods once again, with parents going inside their houses from a hard day’s work. I miss the traffic that big trucks would start, as they turn towards their respective parking lots  I miss the barking of our dog whenever he would see me open our gate. I miss the way I would scream “I’m hoooome!” and get a kiss from my youngest sister as I entered our house. 
I miss going to sleep around twelve in the morning, my eyes drooping from either studying or writing another story. 
I miss my dear Tacloban, the city I’ve lived in for most of my life. And as it struggles to stand, amidst corrupt and opportunist politicians and its citizens fleeing to other places, I know that it will rise again. It will rise again not because people want to, but because it needs to. 
Tacloban is not just a place. It is not just a city. It is almost human, caring for its citizens for years. Tacloban helped raised people with values, with a positive outlook in life, and people with ambitions that are strong enough to move mountains. And now that Tacloban is hurting, it is about time its children began to pay back. 
Taclobanons, we shall rise again. Let’s not just return Tacloban as it once was, but let us make it even better. Tacloban, you will rise again!

My morning thoughts


Everyday I wake up, with the urge to slip back into dreamland. But reality awaits, beckoning me to take my character in the worldwide play of life. I sit up, and glance around my surroundings. Light was streaming down from the windows, illuminating the room. I notice that as usual I am the last one in bed, a result of sleeping late. As I take my first few steps of my day, I search for the familiar faces of my blood-kin, and I kiss them with affection, thankful that they too were blessed with life.

I slowly make my way to the kitchen, eager to fill my starved stomach with blessings that came from the people who made it happen. Having had my fill, I walk upstairs and open my laptop. I pick up my phone as my computer welcomes me with that familiar Windows music. As I scroll through the messages from my ever reliable cell phone, I smile when I read morning messages from him. I hug myself, thinking how lucky I am with everything that I have.

Sometimes I just pause with everything I do, and I think. I find myself daydreaming, staring off to space. I think about life, that no matter how bad or good my day will go, I am still ultimately blessed. That He gives me all that I need, though I may not always get what I want. As Morgan Freeman said, “But since when does anyone have a clue about what they want?”

How about you? Do you stop and think about the things in your life? Do you think about how lucky you are? Even just reading this essay is lucky. Having a computer, having an internet, even waking up in the morning. The next time you feel like you’re nothing, stop and reflect. If you’re nothing, would God have woken you up today? If you’re nothing, why would He give you the gift of reasoning? Desiderata says: You are a child of the universe. You have the right to be here. 

When you feel unloved and alone, count your blessings. As the song goes, you’d fall asleep before you finish counting. 🙂