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The morning before the storm

When I woke up this morning, the sky looked like a gray canvas.

Slowly, I could hear the pitter patter of rain pouring down on our roof. The trees were still, but I knew that soon they would be bending. The streets were bare, empty of vehicles except for the man riding a bicycle with a rainbow colored raincoat on. The “calm before the storm” has already passed, the warm night turning into a cold morning. I listened to the radio all night long, and when I woke up they were just announcing that the storm was brewing near.

I checked my siblings, all who were still asleep and oblivious to what was happening. I observed the things around me: the quiet hum of the AC, the jingle of the ceiling fan as it turns, the music coming from the radio. I reminded myself that one the storm hits, all of the electricity would be cut. The candles have been ready for use since last night, the flashlights’ batteries all new. My biggest fear of sleeping in the dark without the street lights on donned on me, but I had to be strong.

Soon the rain poured harder, making me more nervous. My other siblings woke up, also shocked with how the sky looked like. The super typhoon was minutes away from making land fall, hitting our region first. It would be scary to think that the storm was getting stronger as it passed the Pacific. Cars began to rush by, making the water on the pavement swoosh with every tire it comes in contact with.

Around eight, it became eerily silent. It made me doubt that maybe the storm would not pass us. Cars began to fill the roads, the drivers honking loudly, trying to rush on home. It became significantly warmer, although the sky still held its gloomy color. The news still said that the storm was going to hit soon, and classes were suspended for all. The social sites all boomed with worry from people who has loved ones here, and some expressed their fear.

In the end, we could only hope for the best, and expect that things wouldn’t take a turn for the worst. You can never be prepared enough for what is about to happen. And even if I don’t look forward to meeting this storm eye-to-eye, I just hope it passes by quickly without much damage.

Taking baby steps

With a dream of winning either a Pulitzer award or a Nobel Prize in Literature, I dream big. But with every dream, we all have to take baby steps. For me, those baby steps were starting to write for magazines and starting my blog. And with these two slowly becoming stable, I decide to take the next step: Try to get published.

So most of you have been encouraging me to either write a whole book, or compile my stories and get them published. So I figured, I could try to do both! Since I have a three week semester break, I could do just that. I have used a site called Wattpad for my whole story, while I will compile all my short stories. I’ve always wanted to become published, to be in definition, a “writer.” I know it’s a complete struggle to do so, but this is something I really want to do. I’m going to do it one small step at a time, hopefully finishing before Christmas, or earlier. This is honestly a struggle for me, as I have a hard time trying to concentrate on one story, thus the series of short stories. However, I will see this as a challenge for myself.

To check out my “novel” in the works, here is the link: Sparks and Fireworks

As for my short stories, I will try to self publish them since I don’t know any agents or publishers who would be interested in publishing an eighteen year old girl. I’ve got my fingers crossed! I’m shooting for the highest star here, hopefully hitting the mark. 🙂

The selfie generation

My generation is vain. Yes, yes we are. We can’t deny that we absolutely cannot go to a trip or a party without a camera. We all would like to “preserve” moments and post them onto Facebook, Twitter and Instagram. It’s really an insane thing, and even our parents and elders are catching on. We have a thing for posting one picture out of thousands that we have taken. Admit it, you take about thirty pictures, and upload only half of them.

So when our professor told us that our final requirement for our subject would be self portraits, you could only imagine our reactions. Yes, we were ecstatic! We finally could be vain and actually get something profitable out of it. Our professor told us to pass the best five pictures, but like I said, I took like a hundred pictures and painfully chose just five. Without further ado, here are my best five pictures. Most of these were taken by my faithful photographer, the camera stand. 😀

So far, I got a great grade out of this, and the remaining other pictures are stored for my “future” profile pictures. Do you consider yourself as a part of the selfie generation?

My first embarrassing moment

So just this afternoon, I went for a jog with my bestfriend. We were stretching and stuff, when I suddenly slipped and fell. Thanks to my super awesome reflexes (and the fact that I was used to falling), my hands and knees took the harsh fall instead of my face. and lo and behold, a gash showed on my right knee. People passed by us, because just my luck we decided to jog in the City’s Sports Development Center. It was downright embarrassing, and fate had to rub it in my face with a reminder of it. I got up, dusted myself off, and jogged as if my wound wasn’t so painful. I’m so used to these moments that I know what to do. (Which shows how clumsy I am)

Weirdly enough, this embrassing moment reminded me of my first embarissing moment. Imagine a kid, about four years old. Now imagine here in the Philippines we have jeepneys that have specific routes. Now my mom made me pay the driver. So there was little me, passing the fare. People were saying how cute I was. When handing over the fare to the driver you have to say where you are hopping off. Our house was in a barangay named “Nula-tula”. Now for a four year old, that word is a handful. So when I walked over to hand the fare I said, “Nulalata”. The passengers erupted into laughter, which made me cry. My perfectionist side was showing, and I hated myself for that mistake. And today, I have mastered the damn twister word. (Fourteen years later)

So why am I sharing this with you? I don’t really know. Maybe I just want to open up a long forgotten ghost within you about your embarrassing past. So what’s your first embarrassing moment? Maybe I’d write about it someday. 🙂

On being a contributor..

Being a seventeen year old writer(then) who wants to become a great writer is tiring to be honest. I have to find readers, people who are actually interested, then I have to balance school and my dream. It’s a great thing that my degree program is related to my dream, or else everything might go kaput. Anyway, this year has been awesome so far, and I can almost taste my dream coming into a reality. I’ve been guest blogging, publishing my works wherever I could, and slowly these efforts have been paying off. I have been chosen as a contributor for two magazines!

The first one, is a local magazine here in the Philippines. This magazine features Eastern Visayas, which is where I came from. It features those who came from our group of islands and made a very obvious footprint on the big world. It tells stories and shows people that everyone’s dream can come true. So here’s my first article on said magazine which was published last April:

It was really a great boost to my dream, because they wanted me to write in the magazine again! So just this October, the new issue came out:

And it’s really exciting! The second magazine that asked me to contribute was called LDR Magazine. So far, this is a new mag for long distance couples. For those of you who have read my article on long distance couples (read here), it was actually the one that attracted the editors to my blog! And so I’ve been asked to write articles, and when they updated their site, I saw it! (read here)

So it’s really exciting! Now that I’m eighteen, I can enter more blogs and magazines because I’m legal 🙂 I do hope I could reach my dreams one day! So I hope some of you could help me achieve my dream of being a full-on writer by either subscribing or recommending me to those interested!

I also want to thank all of YOU who read my blog. Without you, well, I’d still be writing with less than fifty views per day. <3

From womb to the tomb

Earlier today, my professor asked us, “What is meaning?”

We were studying our semantics lesson- the meaning of words in a sentence. So when our professor asked us what is meaning, we were dumbfounded. How do you define something that you use to define things? Our professor then expounded the thought, and we came to the topic of defining ourselves by our meaning in life. And this became my inspiration for this post.

So now I will ask you:

What is YOUR meaning?

How do you define yourself?

When we were born, we were defined as our parents’ daughter/son. Growing up, we were defined by the playmates we had and how we were raised. When we go to school we’re defined as a student, whether we were diligent or not. When we had our first girl/boyfriend we were defined by who they were, and what we did with them. When we go to work, we are defined by our job, and where we work. We become “hubby” or “wifey”, then mom or dad. We get old, and little versions of us call us “grandpa” or “grandma”. And then, inevitably, we die. What definition does the world give us next? Gone.

Throughout our lives, we are defined by what we do, who we’re with and what we’ve accomplished. We search for the meaning of life, of who we are. We cover ourselves with material things, thinking that with it comes the true definition of who we are. We comply to the status quo, and when we die, we simply turn into dust. What good have we done then?

We don’t realize that we can make our own definition. We can live life to the way we want it, and not through what other people want. We can sway from the social expectations, and we can surprise ourselves with what we can do. So that even when we’re six feet below the ground, we still have a definition. Either we’re the ones who never took a single risk, or we’re someone who made everyone cry at our funeral because we were an inspiration to them.

So what will it be? An inspiration? Or someone forgotten? Because life won’t give us our definition. We do.

Where have all the nice guys gone?

Nowadays, they say being nice is overrated. They say chivalry is dead. They say that being nice is so tiring when the world is cruel and evil. I beg to differ.

First, let me define a nice person. It is someone who does things selflessly, without asking for anything in return. This is someone who likes doing things for people without forgetting themselves. These people are usually taken for granted, mostly bullied and are tossed aside. Believe me, I know. And these very people who shun and hate nice people are the one who actually have the balls to ask why there aren’t more nice people.

In this generation, where people are encouraged to be themselves and all that, less and less want to be nice. They want to stand up for themselves, to be strong and different. Now this isn’t wrong. What’s wrong is that some people overdo it and become mean. Plus another factor in some people being mean is the messed up dating system. Girls go for douche bags, while men go for the girl version of douche bags. But after a while they get tired, and try to find nice people. In the end though the nice people are pushed to become douche bags, resulting in a huge scarcity with people who are just nice. People do things for their own personal gain, and everything they do must be returned in some form. And this, ladies and gentlemen, is the reason this world has become cruel and selfish. They say being nice is too easy and that there isn’t a challenge in it.

Now here is my opinion: being nice is the hardest thing to do. You have to be nice to people you hate. You have to hold back your tongue when someone says something cruel at you. You want to do things without nothing in return, just because you want to. You have to be patient, and not to mention be always be a shoulder to lean on. And with Freud saying that we are naturally aggressive, this is opposite of who we are.

But I tell you what. Being nice to people is actually heartwarming. When you secretly do something for someone, and you watch them from a distance be happy, it’s feels more awesome than winning money. When you know you changed some one’s day, when you know that you affected their life in a good way, it’s priceless. Just a small smile, or a simple “hi” can change some one’s outlook.

In this cruel world as some may say, being nice can go a long way. A small comment about how they look, as long as you’re sincere can drastically change the way they look at themselves. And to some extent, you can help people live on with their life. For example, let’s say a frustrated writer like myself who is trying to reach out to people decides to give up writing. But one simple comment, as long as you’re really true about it, can help. Every little thing you do, as long as it comes from your heart, can mean a whole lot to someone.

And so the next time you decide to do something and you feel under appreciated, let it be. Even if no one saw it, He saw it. Besides, the feeling you get when you know you helped someone is worth more than the world’s attention.

Writing Prompt – Happiness is..

The internet is a beautiful thing. It has the cure for every little thing-even a case of writer’s block. For me, it wasn’t really writer’s block. I wanted to write, but I just didn’t have any idea what to write about. So as I was surfing the net, I found this beautiful site, aptly named as Language is a virus. And as I clicked on the Generate New Writing Prompt button, I got a new list every time. And now I’m on the site every time. Most of them are really helpful, some are funny and I get a rush every time I finish one. My favorite one, is write 10 sentences starting with Happiness is.. here it is. 🙂

Happiness is a beautiful love song that plays that just lifts your spirits. It makes you feel giddy as the song plays as if it was for you. Just like this one.
Happiness is finding five pesos after enduring hours of being so hungry. Your stomach grumbles but you know you don’t have enough money. And out of nowhere, a shiny five pesos! Now you can buy bread! (pan de sal anyone?)
Happiness is hearing your favorite song on the radio and just belting out the lyrics like some crazy person. You feel free as you do that dance you do when no one’s watching.
Happiness is receiving a warm hug after you’ve been crying. You feel that certain warmth seep through your body after crying so hard. Your tears dry on the person’s shoulder, as they say sweet words to calm you down.
Happiness is staring into someone’s eyes and you see their pupils dilate. And that someone is your crush.
Happiness is getting a good grade for something you worked hard on. You just want to fist pump the air and hug your professor so hard they might consider failing you.
Happiness is tasting your favorite ice cream after having a cough for a month. The way the taste melts in your mouth, the way it rolls down your throat.
Happiness is going through your old things, remembering the memories that went with it. Whether good or bad, or something stupid you did then, you know those memories became the reason why you are the way you are.
Happiness is seeing your family happy. Their happiness radiates toward you, and you can’t help but smile with them.
Happiness is laughing so hard with your friends that your stomach and cheeks hurt. But you just can’t stop laughing.

So there’s my list. I hope it somehow brightened your day, and I hope you make a list like that too. It really does make you feel happy. Just remember, happiness is a choice, a choice not everyone makes. 🙂

My morning thoughts

Everyday I wake up, with the urge to slip back into dreamland. But reality awaits, beckoning me to take my character in the worldwide play of life. I sit up, and glance around my surroundings. Light was streaming down from the windows, illuminating the room. I notice that as usual I am the last one in bed, a result of sleeping late. As I take my first few steps of my day, I search for the familiar faces of my blood-kin, and I kiss them with affection, thankful that they too were blessed with life.

I slowly make my way to the kitchen, eager to fill my starved stomach with blessings that came from the people who made it happen. Having had my fill, I walk upstairs and open my laptop. I pick up my phone as my computer welcomes me with that familiar Windows music. As I scroll through the messages from my ever reliable cell phone, I smile when I read morning messages from him. I hug myself, thinking how lucky I am with everything that I have.

Sometimes I just pause with everything I do, and I think. I find myself daydreaming, staring off to space. I think about life, that no matter how bad or good my day will go, I am still ultimately blessed. That He gives me all that I need, though I may not always get what I want. As Morgan Freeman said, “But since when does anyone have a clue about what they want?”

How about you? Do you stop and think about the things in your life? Do you think about how lucky you are? Even just reading this essay is lucky. Having a computer, having an internet, even waking up in the morning. The next time you feel like you’re nothing, stop and reflect. If you’re nothing, would God have woken you up today? If you’re nothing, why would He give you the gift of reasoning? Desiderata says: You are a child of the universe. You have the right to be here.

When you feel unloved and alone, count your blessings. As the song goes, you’d fall asleep before you finish counting. 🙂

Life and Writing for dummies

After writing for about seven years, I’m still a dummy. So I research day in and day out about things that could help me improve. So one day I found this list by Jack Kerouac, entitled “Belief and Technique for Modern Prose: List of Essentials.” It was dated in the 1950’s, and most of the things that were listed were really timeless. And so I was inspired to
make my own list, but with a twist. I wrote 30 things I’ve come to realize in my life and with writing too. My list consists of things I’ve gathered through my whole life from mentors, books, and from being observant. And now may I present, Life and Writing for dummies. 🙂

Write your life with a pen, not with a pencil. Learn from mistakes, don’t try to erase them.
Make lists.
Never fear rejection.
When all else fails, drink a cup of coffee. And pick up your pen again.
Inspiration can come from the simplest things. Even from a simple text message.
Find the magnificent beauty in silence.
Never settle for simple. Life’s too complicated to give you simple.
Write. And write again. Keep writing till your heart runs out of ink.
Don’t just write what you’ve experienced. Reach for the unknown, grasp a shooting star, ride that magic carpet and venture into a new world.
Enjoy the little things.
Do something foolish. Learn to ride a bike with no hands. Eat street food. Fall in love.
Love yourself. Even that little mole on your toe.
When you write, write for one person. If you want to make everyone happy then be a clown.
Be comfortable with who you are. Awkwardness is not a cute trait.
Never give something in half. You’d only get half in return.
Give compliments and mean it. You’d never know how much it would mean to the receiver.
Keep a diary. if it’s too much, at least bring a notepad to write the best or worst moments.
Try to be nice. The reason why bad people exist is because it’s easier. Being nice is a challenge. Take it.
Don’t try to change the world. Because how you see it may not be the same with other people.
Fall in love. It doesn’t have to be romantic love. You can love music, art and other non human things. Just find something that makes your heart melt or skip a beat.
Write. Rewrite. Print it. And read it. Then rewrite again if necessary Mistakes can’t easily be detected with first glance, so read your work over and over until you’re contented.
Try something new everyday. Eat something you’ve never tried. Learn a new instrument. Read a new book.
Bring a small notepad and a pen with you EVERYWHERE. The most brilliant ideas don’t always come when you’re at home safe and sound.
Read the Desiderata.
Write everyday. Write a thousand words. Or maybe just five hundred words. If all else fails, at least a hundred words. If you still can’t do it, write gibberish.
Free write. It’s psychologically proven that if you free write before an exam or a hectic day, it makes your mind sharper and makes you feel lighter.
Fall in love. Fall out of love. Fall in love again. Just make sure you do it the most poetic way you can.
Pray. No matter what religion you’re in, pray.
Free yourself once in awhile. Dance to a random music. Sing loudly (even when you’re out of tune).
Never forget all those who helped you when you were down. They’ll help keep your feet on the ground when you’re on top of the world.