le-an lai lacaba | What's your story?

Mr. Dream Guy

I’ve always dreamed of someone

Who’ll make his love show

That when I’m sad and full of dismay,

He’ll always know what to say

That everytime I throw a fit and when i’m mad

he’ll calm me down and hold my hand

That when i’m tired and unwell,

He’ll always be there for me,in a ring of a bell

He’ll say sweet things that will tickle my heart

And will promise me that we will never part

He’ll call me in the middle of the night,

Wishing he can hold me tight

He’ll make me laugh to a point of tears,

Washing away all my fears

He’ll take me to walks by the moon,

Making cute faces like a funny cartoon

He’ll gladly hold my hand in front of his friends,

Telling them it was “us” till the end

He’ll run after me through the rain,

Holding me on through the pain

He’ll dance with me though there’s no music

And he’ll steal a kiss real quick

He’ll sing sweet melodies into my ears,

With a song that only both our hearts can hear…

————————————–

This was my first ever published poem on our school paper, age 13. I’m just a hopeless romantic through and through. 😀

Everything seemed dark, gray and DEAD. My breathing got more laboured, as my hands quivered. My heart twitched and ached in all places, as I tried to stay ALIVE. Just when I thought I conquered all my fears, this one kind of hell blew up all over my face, as lava of hot tears flowed through. The bittersweet taste of betrayal and anger lingered on my lips, as I remembered the last kiss, the last thing we shared together, the last moment when you really loved me. I tried to keep my heart from blowing up into pieces, tried not to over react, but the words blew up in all direction. Everything in me was dying; every cell was destroying the other.

It seems like centuries ago when I last looked straight into your eyes and said “I LOVE YOU”. Fast forward through time, through the sweet nothings and half-hearted apologies, I spend my nights hating the songs we once loved, waking up crying whenever I saw u in my dreams, the memories eating me alive. I spent my days thinking of what went wrong, lost in the world of anticipation of a better tomorrow. I kept myself busy, coping with the drastic change, as I filled the empty void that was once filled by you. I never thought my heart would have ached for you like that. I would sometimes catch myself staring blankly into the air, trying to fill my mind with meaningless thought, avoiding the thought of you.

But as the sun hid and rose from the mountains, I started to hate myself for acting so hopeless, for drifting into a nightmare I built to protect myself. As soon as I realized that, delusions of a better tomorrow became more real, as I started to accept defeat from the aimless cupid. I slowly and surely gained conscience of the things I have done, the things I have achieved and lost. I no longer felt the rush of regret, but rather, the rush of being someone new.

I may never find the heart to forgive you for what you did to me, for making me go through all those things just to forget you, but what I do want to do is to thank you. Because of you jerking off leaving me bleeding half to death, I found the courage to become stronger when it came to love. I have finally moved on, and am going through my life great without you. To that, I say, I survived.

——————————–

So that was a little dark. I wrote this when I was FOURTEEN. I think I was moving on from someone, and I really like to overreact on things and that’s how I write. Keep in mind this was all but a crush, one sided feelings. I thought like a “matured” kid then. It’s all so, weird to read what I wrote then. (shivers)

THORoughly in love

With his dirty blonde hair and muscular arms,

He turns my stomach into a butterfly farm.

With that red cape and manly face,

He’s my only saving grace.

With every swing of his hammer,

He makes my heart beat a little faster.

And though he has a handsome brother,

That doesn’t mean he isn’t any hotter.

I swoon for the son of Odin,

And I faint for his every grin.

Oh Thor, handsome Thor.

You make my heart stop once more.

I yearn for the man from Asgard,
who really deserves an award.
He makes women forget about their lovers,
As men gawk at his awesome powers.

Leave Jane Foster behind

cause it isn’t meant to be.

Look no further to the nine universes,

Cause the one you’re meant to be with

Is me.

———————–

Soooo. I watched Thor today. (Obviously) He’s just so, ugh. Frustrated teen here. (Don’t tell my boyfriend!) 😀

Eternally yours

I struggled to sit up on the cemented hedge, and when I did I crossed my legs together. Throngs of cars soon came to view, early morning families who came to visit the others. I soon lost count on how many people came and went as the sun rose to the highest point in the big blue sky. I began to wonder if anyone would visit me today, as I stared in envy for all my friends who wore happy faces.

“Hi Emily!”

My head snapped towards the source of the voice, a smile creeping up my face. Finally! I couldn’t contain my happiness, and I soon jumped onto my sister and hugged her tight.

“I missed you too little kid.” She joked. Even though I’m already 25, she still treats me like I’m 5. I still was so happy she came, and that I wasn’t forgotten. Soon I saw the whole family walk towards me, with flowers and sandwiches in hand.

My mom and dad were walking hand-in-hand, a sad smile on their face. But never the less I was thrilled to see them as they approached me. I gave them a warm embrace, their scent engulfing me. They always smelled like the old people that they are.

“Hey Em. Your brother’s here too.” My dad said, showing me a little kid who was a spitting image of the man I saw as my superman. He had black hair like my dad, had the same nose and eyes. The only thing that he inherited from my mom was the fact that he was shy. I pinched his cheeks, and he didn’t look bothered by it. At least he’s warming up to me now.

“Dad, is that my sister?” Tommy asked.

My dad nodded with a proud look on his face. “She’s the best sister in the world Tom.”

“And the most annoying one.” My sister quipped. The whole family began to laugh, at my expense as usual. They soon set up the mat on the floor, opened the huge umbrella and gave the sandwiches out. My sister placed the flowers in front of me, and lit up a candle in the middle of everyone.

Soon small conversations started here and there, as more people seemed to come in. It was soon crowded, with people going in and out like crazy.

But my family didn’t seem fazed by it, as they continued to talk to each other, trying to get me to join in. The sound of my sister’s phone broke off the conversations, as we all pried on her call.

“We’re here with her. Yes, with the whole family. Yes, you could come. Goodbye.” She turned off her phone with a smile, and she peered to the right and began to wave frantically at someone. My heart skipped like a rock when I saw who she was waving at. He still looked as handsome as ever, although his eyes looked sad.

He was thinner, but he still walked like the angels themselves made sure he didn’t trip. He smiled when he saw my family, who all cajoled him to come closer. He sat right beside me, accidentally brushing his hand on my arm. It immediately sent a thousand familiar sparks throughout my body, jolting me awake from my day dream of him.

“Hey everyone. Little Tommy.” I smiled when he greeted my brother specially, which made the young boy smile a bit. My mother offered him a sandwich that he ate with gusto. That boy was too addicted to my mom’s famous sandwiches.

“How’s work John?” My father asked; his voice soft.

“It was fine sir. So far so good.” He said without a trace of smugness. Gotta love that in a man.

“You know you can call me Keith, or Dad.” My father offered a small smile, which John returned. I could feel my cheeks burn up, and my lips aching from the smile that never went away since I saw him. After a few minutes of idle chatter, my mother stood up and instructed everyone to do the same. The mat was rolled, the sandwiches kept. My dad held to Tommy, my mom beside him, my sister and John followed.

“In the name of the Father…” My mother started to say. She then proceeded to pray, my family and John joining in whenever possible. I soon felt my heart become lighter, stronger even. “And Lord, please bless the soul of my daughter, Emily Bright, and receive her soul as we have received You in our lives. All this we pray in the name of the Lord.”

“Amen.” They answered. One by one they left, kissing the cement that I was sitting on merely an hour ago.

“Bye Emiwy!” Tommy said, waving towards me. I waved back, smiling at the little kid.

John left last, his fingers playing with our wedding ring. He kneeled to face the cement hedge, and began to etch out the words that were carved onto it. ‘In memory of Emily Bright. A daughter, a wife, a sister and a hero. 1986-2011’

“You’d always be a hero to Tommy, Em. I’d make sure he would never forget the day you jumped in front of that car for him.” He held out flowers, placing them in front of me.

“I miss you.” He whispered. “I miss hearing your laugh. Sometimes I miss you so much I forget to eat.” I narrowed my eyes towards him, and he chuckled. “I know that if you were here right now you’d narrow your eyes and yell at me to take care of myself more, but it’s so darn hard Em. I miss you.”

I touched his cheek, caressing him softly.

“Em? Is that you?” I nodded, though I knew he wouldn’t see me. “I know you’re here Em. I could smell the perfume you always wore.” He inhaled deeply, as if savouring every scent. “If you’re there Em, wait for me okay? Don’t go falling in love with angels or other souls. You’re mine. You’re married to me remember?”

I smiled at him with tears slowly making their way to my cheeks. Before I could stop myself I kissed him right on the lips. He smiled as he touched his lips, shaking his head and chuckling.

“Just, save me a seat up there okay? I love you.” He kissed the carving, and began to walk away. My heart went with him, following him everywhere.

I was eternally his, after all.

—————————————–

Fiction. Today was all souls day here in the Philippines, and a lot of people went to the cemeterey to remember all those who went before us. I love this story personally, not just because I wrote it. <3

With love

my mother kept me alive,

And taught me how to count

from one to five

With love

I cried in an empty room,

Vowing to never let a man

decide my doom

With love

I was speechless,

When he knelt on one knee,

as the sun set on the glistening sea

With love

I beared the pain of giving birth

To a child more beautiful

than anything of this earth

With love

he cried over my body

as my spirit slowly left me

Love after all

makes life worth it.

With love,

Everything is just bittersweet

Nightmares and sweet realities

I woke up with a start, the vivid images from my dream digging into my skin. I was shaking, sweat pouring profusely from its glands. I tried to shake off the feeling, trying to get a grip on reality. My arms on instinct snaked their way onto my husband’s side, and I breathed a sigh of relief to find him there. I began to shake him awake, afraid of being alone. The room seemed to be closing in on me, the darkness and silence as deafening and as blinding. He soon woke up, sluggishly opening his eyes. These eyes whoever, widened at the sight of me.

“Honey? Are you alright? What happened?” He frantically searched my body, his eyes scanning every inch of me. When he was done, he turned back to me, looking at me intensely in the eye.

“What’s wrong?”

I began shaking again, and he hugged me tight. The warmness emanating from him was a gift from heaven, as I inhaled his scent of pine trees and mint. I tried to calm myself again, breathing in heavily. He pulled me closer to him, his big arms wrapped around me. I took a big breath, before burying myself deeper to his chest.

“I-I had a bad dream.” I said, my voice shaking with every word. When he didn’t say a thing, it urged me to continue. “You left me. You said you were tired of me. Then you shot me in the heart, and ran as far away as you could.”

Everything flashed in my mind, the feeling of loneliness, and death that was slowly creeping into me. To some, I might sound like a lovesick teenager, but this man was literally my rock. He made it impossible for me to live without him. Without him, I’d be a walking dead person. My husband only kissed my forehead, trying to calm me. I didn’t even know I was crying till he wiped a tear from my eye.

“It was just a dream, alright honey? Just a dream. I’m here.”

I looked up onto his eyes, and I saw only sincerity. Gosh, I love this man. He closed the distance between us as he kissed me on the lips, sparks flying everywhere. His grip on my hips tightened, closing any milimeter of distance between us. When we finally let go to breathe, a thought entered my head.
“But what if you’re a dream too?” I asked, my voice faltering.

He surprised me by biting the tip of my nose, making me smack his face away.

“What was that for?” I asked, rubbing my injured nose.

“Did it hurt?”

“Of course it did!” He lowered his head to kiss my nose, his warmth spreading all over it.

“Then you’d know that this isn’t a dream. I’m here. I’d always be here.”

My heart fluttered like a bird, as he cuddled me into his arms. We fell asleep like that, just hugging. I knew that no nightmare would ever harm me, as long as it was sweeter in reality.

————–

Fiction. I texted this to my boyfriend the other day when he asked me to imagine married life with him. I came up with this one. 🙂

Little Timmy

“Go to hell you stupid prick!”

I heard mommy yell. She began throwing things at daddy again, and he only turned to me with a sad smile. Her face looked like a dragon, and I could see the smoke coming out of her nose. I laughed, but daddy put his finger to his lips, which was code for ‘be quiet’.

“Go to the secret room Timmy. Mommy and I need to talk.” He whispered, giving me the small wooden sword he made for me earlier. I nodded, and gave daddy a kiss. The sword was really heavy, but Mr. Teddy helped me carry it.

“So that’s what you’re going to do now? Make our son run and hide? Am I a monster in your make believe world?”

I saw daddy wave at me, and I knew that it was code to run. I ran up the stairs like dad told me to, and soon jumped on the string that dad tied to the secret stairs leading to the room. I stumbled going up, with Mr. Teddy wanting to climb up first.

“We have to be careful Mr. Teddy!” I whispered.

Mr. Teddy nodded at me, then we slowly went up. I soon saw Mr. Wizard with his hand stretched to me. He was a very old man who had a green dress. I laughed when I met him, because what kind of guy wears a dress?

“Little Timmy!” He bellowed, “Shall we go to your castle?” He said, his beard puffing as he talked. It was almost to his knees, and it went up and down when he opens his mouth.

I giggled, and I took his hand. Mr. Wizard tied a rope around me, then pulled it to secure it just like dad does. I showed him my sword, and he smiled at me. He waved his old hands on the sword, and just like that it became shiny. Dad’s painting was right in front of us, and Mr. Teddy jumped in first, wearing his armor.

“I’m going to get our son Michael! I won’t let you poison him with your stupid stories! We’re leaving!”

My mom was shouting again, and I knew that she was right below me because Mr. Wizard put his finger to his lips and pointed downstairs. I nodded, and I copied his motion.

“Timothy! Get down here now! We are leaving your father!” The door to the room was banging, and I felt my heart going baboom!

“Quick Little Timmy. Into the castle we go!” Mr. Wizard pulled my hand and we both jumped into the painting, and the green grass of the castle made me happy, just like it always did. I didn’t hear my mom’s voice anymore as we strode into the gold walls of the castle. Everything was shiny and quiet, with the guards wearing a suit. Teddy was the main guard, who saluted at me. We walked to the throne room, where my crown waited in place, next to daddy’s big crown. Mommy never wears her crown, but then she never comes to my castle.

“Do you think daddy will come?” I asked Wizard.

“He always comes Timmy.” He replied, ruffling my hair. “Would you like me to escort you to your room?”

I nodded, feeling a bit sleepy.

“Could you bring me a glass of milk and cookies please?” I asked, putting on my puppy dog face.

My dad says it always works with Wizard, since they’ve known each other longer. He laughed loudly, and smiled at me. He looked like Santa Claus sometimes, but Santa wouldn’t wear a green dress. We went to my room, which was bigger than our house! I had all my toys there, and Teddy was inside too, looking all serious. He was really such a softie.

I felt a tug at the rope from the other side, and that’s when I saw my dad running towards me. He had a big smile on his face, and he wore his crown. He immediately hugged me, kissing me on my forehead.

“Are you ready to go to sleep little guy?” He asked, putting me down on my bed. Teddy shrunk and crawled to my side, and I hugged him tight. Dad soon hummed me to sleep, and I smiled at him.

“Dad, is mommy ever going to come here?”

He looked sad for a moment, and I felt sad too.

“She’s not going to come here for a while little Timmy. Now go to sleep.”

When I woke up the next day, Daddy was by my side, still asleep. I walked around the castle, following the scent of pancakes and honey. That’s when I saw a figure I’ve never seen before in the castle. My mom. I immediately ran to her, hugging her right leg.

“Get off me you- Oh hi honey!” My mom looked like a Queen, with her crown on her head. She was smiling at me, something I haven’t seen on mommy’s face for a long time.

“Mommy, is that for me?” I said, pointing to the pancakes.

She nodded at me, then lifted me up to the stool. I giggled as she touched a tickle spot, and she only gave me a confused look. She then sat down on a chair beside me, watching me eat like a big boy.

“Timmy, do you like it here?” She asked. I nodded vigorously, and she looked sad.

“But I like it better when you’re here mommy!” I smiled, trying to make her smile too. But she only looked more sad, but didn’t say a word. A few minutes later, we were walking towards the door that lead to our house.

“Mom, daddy is still asleep in my bedroom, would you like me to wake him up so we could go home together?”

Mommy began to look like a dragon again, huffing and puffing. She then took me up, then carried me towards the door. I cried so loud that Teddy heard me. He was by my side in an instant. He took me from my mommy’s hands, then he led her out the castle.

“You think you’ve won Michael?” My mom screamed. “You’ll never come back here, and you’d be stuck there with YOUR kid!”

I saw mommy cut the ropes that connected me and daddy to the house, and I remembered Daddy saying that we won’t be able to go back if it was cut. I saw daddy running towards me, and his rope turned to dust.

“Come here buddy.” He took me from Teddy, and I hugged him real tight while I cried. “It’s going to be just you and me okay little Timmy?”

I nodded, as my daddy took me back to my room. I didn’t know what was going to happen next, but as long as I had my daddy with me, I knew things would be alright.

———————————
I hope that made sense. 😀 Completely fiction.

Taking baby steps

With a dream of winning either a Pulitzer award or a Nobel Prize in Literature, I dream big. But with every dream, we all have to take baby steps. For me, those baby steps were starting to write for magazines and starting my blog. And with these two slowly becoming stable, I decide to take the next step: Try to get published.

So most of you have been encouraging me to either write a whole book, or compile my stories and get them published. So I figured, I could try to do both! Since I have a three week semester break, I could do just that. I have used a site called Wattpad for my whole story, while I will compile all my short stories. I’ve always wanted to become published, to be in definition, a “writer.” I know it’s a complete struggle to do so, but this is something I really want to do. I’m going to do it one small step at a time, hopefully finishing before Christmas, or earlier. This is honestly a struggle for me, as I have a hard time trying to concentrate on one story, thus the series of short stories. However, I will see this as a challenge for myself.

To check out my “novel” in the works, here is the link: Sparks and Fireworks

As for my short stories, I will try to self publish them since I don’t know any agents or publishers who would be interested in publishing an eighteen year old girl. I’ve got my fingers crossed! I’m shooting for the highest star here, hopefully hitting the mark. 🙂

Sewed to him

“Lily”

It was barely a whisper, but it was enough to jolt me awake. I pried my eyes open, glancing at my digital clock. 12:01 AM, October 31. I looked around my apartment, noticing the absence of my best friend on her bed. I concluded that it was only my imagination. I then decide to lie down again, knowing that I still had six more hours of sleep to go.

“Lily.”

This time a cold chill travelled up my spine, making me shiver. I glanced at the AC to shut it off with the remote, but it wasn’t even on. Odd. I shook off the feeling, and tried to resume sleeping. My hand hung on the side of the bed, as I slowly drifted into sleep.

“Lily. Wake up.”

This time I crumpled myself into a small ball on the side of my bed, eyes completely shut. I felt the cold feeling of the wall on my back, as I made myself as small as I possibly could. I clutched my phone tightly in my hand, frantically looking for my best friend’s number. This is not real. This is not real. My brain overloaded with thoughts of a murderer or a burglar in my apartment as I tried to call Stacy. But like a complete thriller movie, I didn’t have cell service. Crap.

“Lily”

The voice was becoming louder now, making my heart beat louder. I was sweating so much like I ran a marathon, when I’ve only been hiding myself under my comforter. Stop being a baby Lily. Take a look. At least you’d know who to haunt if you die. I slowly lowered my comforter, but what I saw made me wish a murderer got inside my room. Because right in front of me, or better yet above me, was my ex-boyfriend. My dead ex-boyfriend.

He was literally floating in front of me, looking so real. He looked the same as he did two years ago, right down to his little mole on his cheek. The last time I saw him was when the coffin was closed on his face. I remember how my heart broke when the doctor announced he died of heart attack. I was gaping at him like a mad man, he only smiled at me like this was the most normal thing in the world.

“Hey Lily”

My heart accelerated out of my chest, as I hid under my comforter again. I only heard a ghostly laughter, and I was literally shaking.

“Wh-why are you here?” I asked, saying the million dollar question. When he didn’t answer, I looked around my apartment. It was empty. Was it really just a dream? The room suddenly felt colder for some reason, and I knew in that moment that this wasn’t over.

“Hello Lily.”

His words seemed to roll of his tongue, like a viper calling out to its prey. He was walking towards me, his all black eyes weirdly making it hard for me to look away. He sat on the edge of my bed, a huge smile on his face.

“You don’t know how long I’ve waited for this.”

I quivered from the coldness of his voice, my body somehow detecting him as an enemy. I backed myself up further into the wall, as if that was physically possible. Think Lily. Think! Or at least say something!

“Ple-please don’t hurt me.”

My nervousness was so obvious that he smiled once again, creepily I might add. This whole situation was creepy, and he was just making it worse.

“Lily, Lily, Lily. If I wanted to hurt you, I would have done it the day I died. The very day I sacrificed my life to save yours.”

My eyes widened as he said this, but I didn’t say a word.

“Aren’t you curious Lily? That I died the day you got into that car crash?”

His words pierced into me like a cold knife, making me involuntarily shiver. Where is this going?

“I took my life Lily,” He said, crawling towards me, “To save yours.”

He suddenly opened his polo, revealing a stitch on his chest that was eerily a match with my own scar. I reached out to touch it, but when I did I only went through his chest. I immediately grabbed my hand back, almost peeing myself when he chuckled softly.

“Yo-you gave me your heart?” I stuttered, needing to say something.

“This isn’t a cliche story Lily. I died of ‘heart attack'” He said with his fingers up to quote the doctor. “I tied my lifeline onto yours to make you live.You’ve been using my life years.”

I suddenly felt dizzy, subconsciously feeling the scar on my chest. The doctor said it was from a shard of glass that pierced my heart, barely missing it. That’s when I noticed a red string that connected my scar to his, and I tried my best to pull it out. But the more I pulled, more came out. I looked up towards him, confused.

“Bu-but..I-I..” My brain stopped functioning when he came forward, his cold lips on mine. I didn’t feel anything, except a cold, unnatural feeling. He then pulled back, scratching his head, looking disappointed.

“The string won’t come off. It was there when we were born, and only strengthened when I sacrificed myself. At least, that’s what I’ve been told.” He smiled before he continued, “I’m literally stuck to you Lily.”

He suddenly disappeared from my sight, and that’s when I blacked out.

When I woke up the next day, I breathed a sigh of relief. A jingle of keys came from the other side of the door, and Stacy came in with a smile on her face.

“I’m sorry I didn’t come home last night.” She said sheepishly. “I got preoccupied.”

I only nodded at her, still hung over the dream. I then noticed something hanging from the inside my shirt. When I looked at it, I froze.

It was a red string.

And it came from the scar above my chest.

————————–
Fiction. I’m getting into the Halloween vibe, so I wrote this. My second horror story. I do hope I spooked everyone 😀

My Lego King

He builds his kingdom by hand,

With bricks that are stronger than sand.

He wears his crown on his head,

The crowd hanging on every word he said.

He might be small,

but he is my master.

But only because

he’s my little brother.

We use swords and shields

that no one could destroy.

We’ll be better than the kingdom of Troy.

Even when we grow up,

I’d never forget.

That my brother was once a king,

the best I’ve ever met.