le-an lai lacaba | What's your story?

My wedding day ♥

Sometimes I wonder, how my wedding day would go. I imagine waking up very early, or not sleeping at all. I’d be smiling so brightly, my face has this different glow, my whole body almost shaking, excited that finally, I get to start my life with the man whom I declared the love of my life. I imagine, that I’d be looking at the mirror, smiling like an idiot, like a little kid who knows she has a huge birthday gift outside. I’d take out my wedding dress, imagining how it would feel to finally be that girl who walks down the aisle, with her parents proud of her choice, her family and friends supporting her, and there’s a cute, handsome man just standing there, staring at her, maybe even shedding tears of joy, unable to utter a word as his eyes are glued to the beauty of his bride.

Then when I finish imagining I’d see myself grinning so hard that my cheeks are hurting. Then just as I finish taking a bath, I’d put on my bathrobe and a blindfold. I’d take a step outside, and I get hugged the moment I held his hand. He’s been waiting for me to come out, though he couldn’t see a thing with his blindfold. We are careful not to break the superstition, yet we both needed this gesture, our arms around each other. We kneel and overlap each others hand, as we go into a silent prayer. We thank, ask forgiveness, and ask for luck. Our hearts in sync, our hands warm, as we both resist the urge to kiss before the wedding. And when we’re done I’d quietly say, “Come on, I got to get ready. I still haven;t put on any make up.” Then he’d caress my face and say, “You don’t need it, you’re already so darn beautiful” We’d both laugh it off, and I finally get escorted back to my room by my sisters.

As I get my make up done, he’d text me all of the sudden, announcing he’s already at the church, almost 2 hours early. I’d laugh, and my heart races as the hour of our wedding draws near. The moment I walk out my room, I savor each second of being single, knowing that after a few hours my last name wouldn’t be the same. As I get into the car and arrive at the church, I’d smile, and I’d go with the randomness of the wedding. No more nights being home alone, just me and that guy in a penguin suit, ready to give up everything for me. 🙂

Me Amore ♥

He just makes me smile. He makes my heart skip a beat, my brain to go fuzzy, you know those cheesy love cliches? You know the gist. The butterflies in stomach, the giggles you do when he makes you laugh. Ah love. Can’t live with it, can’t live without it. Being such a hopeless romantic, love simply is just a mystery that human kind it still trying to solve. To be in love is great, to be loved is even better, yet to love and be loved at the same time is just darn perfect. But love is just a mere feeling, it’s the effort you put invest into it that makes the feeling last longer. There is no such thing as an effortless love, you love because you want to give that person everything you could offer, everything you could do and more, just to see that person happy at the end of the day.

Our love story is kinda cute. He first had a crush on me when he was a 1st year high school student, newly transferred from his hometown. I was in 2nd year high school that time, and as I was playing around with his classmates, he saw me, and that was it for him. He wanted to introduce himself through our mutual friend, and he was the first guy ever that shook my hand when he introduced himself. Years passed and his secret crush for me remained. Last July 2010 though, I had a slight crush on him because I admired the way he made a speech during a campaign and the way he debated. But the crush soon faded. During my last period being a high school girl, last January 2011, he got the courage to court me. He asked first on facebook. Since I didn’t like guys asking me through the internet or phone, I said no. Then the next monday, he got down on his knees, held my hand, and asked if he could court me. I was a bit shy, since it was the first time that a guy did that. So I just said “Do whatever you want to prove you’re really serious about me.” And so he did. And the rest is history.

My relationship with my boyfriend, is just like any other. There are moments when we just feel so in love that we’d squeeze each other’s hand til it explodes, and there are moments when we just wanna rip our hairs off. Yet no two days are the same with us. There are some days, when it’s just completely normal. Some just full of sweet moments. Some full of fights and misunderstandings. Some we’re too busy with our lives that we only really talk early morning or at night. Yet we never let the other go through the day without feeling loved, without making the other smile. The day just isn’t complete without that.

Like most modern couples, we communicate through text. We would text all day, and even when it makes our “authorities” mad, we just try our best to keep tabs on each other. We’re not those “where are you?who are you with?” couples, we just like the thought of having to text someone who really cares about us. Our topics vary on how fast our brain works. Whatever we think about, we tell the other, just so we don’t get stuck with the usual “What you doing?” questions. We’re so open with each other’s topics. We talk about anything that we’re curious about, anything under the sun. We talk about the past and future, what ifs, i wonder why’s, sometimes we may even write a whole encyclopedia about the things we’ve thought about. That would be a huge encyclopedia, judging and recounting how much knowledge we’ve acquired from each other with our curiosity.

We could also write a bibliography about each other cause we know each other’s past. We even know the different quirks and uniqueness about each other. Like how I discovered that he has 5 adorable dimples whenever he smiles. Like how he knows I like eating a spoonful of sugar and it makes me become hyperactive. I know he can’t swim in swimming pools, yet he can swim on the beach. He knows all my ticklish parts. I know he once almost died because of his asthma. We both know we first had infatuations at the age of 4. We just amazingly know a lot of facts about each other.

Whenever we’re together, the fun is infinite. Since we know each other so well, we know how to make the other smile, and we love to goof around. It’s like our minds are connected that both of us can play along with what the other is thinking. Even when he was courting me, it seemed like we knew each other for so long, that we laugh at the same jokes, we’re both noisy when we’re together that it even pissed off my brother once. We’re both mature and immature minded at the same time, so when our immature side kicks in, the pranks, the laughter, never ends.

We play different roles in each other’s lives. We play each other’s best friends when we need someone to talk to, we play each other’s nurse/doctor when the other is sick, we act like babies when we sulk. It’s just crazy what the both of us can come up with, just to make sure we’re there for one another through whatever hardship that may happen to each other’s life.

The pick up lines. Oh yes. We still do pick up lines even though we’ve picked each other up already. It’s just so funny, some are cheesy, some are just sweet. We love the randomness of having pick up lines. His mind works so fast when it comes to pick up lines. He loves to make things up when saying pick up lines, so some pick up lines go terribly wrong. Me on the other hand, I just look at random stuff and I make a pick up lines out of them. We can be so crazy with pick up lines at times that we just end up smiling on our phones like crazy.

The most fragile yet most powerful part about us is the fact that we may not be sure where our relationship may be going, we may fall apart and live different lives in the future, yet we would try to keep what we have. Now I know at this point some people would say this is too good to be true, but it’s not. We’ve had our own sacrifices, our own bad moments. He courted me for almost a year, and I would admit I was harsh on him at times. I mean, really harsh. I liked to test if he really loved me, and I tortured him. Yet at times we talked like best friends. When we became official, surprisingly he didn’t take out revenge for what I did to him. Instead, he proved more how much he loved me. Me, on the other hand, had my own sacrifices to make. When we had fights I got hurt being a girl, and I wanted to burden all the faults. The first part wasn’t easy, because we had to adjust to each other’s differences. We even had a whole week just fighting, trying to really get to know each other in another level. It was hard, yet seeing where we are now, it was worth it.

Being in love, is just an indescribable feeling. It drives me crazy, mad, happy, depressed, and all those other feelings. Sometimes, you doubt if it’s true or just a joke, yet you still try to seek the feeling. I guess love is the very huge package you receive that is filled with infinite surprises. It maybe a negative or positive surprise, but it will turn your life around like you never expected it to be. With me and Anthony, I guess we’d just try until there’s nothing left to fight for. And even if everything breaks and crashes to infinite pieces, at least we loved. 🙂

Love is acceptance

Love is when you accept that person with all he is, when you’re willing to get hurt just to get that person to be happy. love is when you’d go all through everything, just to keep that person. love is not only the good times, but also the bad. it’s when you stick together through whatever, and you can’t bear the thought of living without. you’d accept all his faults, and he does the same. you forgive and forget, making room for more happiness. love is when that person brings out the best in you, when that person matters to you more that anything. that through no matter what,you know that 10 years, 20 years or even after death, you can still imagine yourself happy with that person. That’s what love can do. it can make the impossible possible, the nothing to everything.

Fling Love

There was Kurt and Taylor.

Kurt is Taylor’s gayish friend and were bestfriends ever since the day Taylor defended him from bullies who teased Kurt for wearing girl clothes. They always stuck like glue, always being there for each other no matter what happend.

One day, Kurt was banned from one part of their school because he acted gay.”I can’t believe them! This is just unfair!” He ranted in front of Taylor at the school cafeteria that day. ” You
want me to hit them again?” Taylor chuckled, trying to let him remember the day she broke her umbrella after she hit the school bully. ” Nah, they’ll
just think that you’re my bodyguard.” Kurt said. Taylor thought about it then said ” but i am your bodyguard.” “that was when we were kids Tay,but, we’re in junior high now. I can’t have my best friend fighting for me. I need to do something to prove that I’m not that gay who likes guys. Just the gay who likes dressing up.” The two went quiet for a while, then Taylor said, ” you need a girlfriend!” Kurt shot her an unbelievable look. ” A girlfriend? hmmm.”

” I can’t believe you managed to really dragged me into this” Taylor held on to her seat as Kurt drove. “Well, it was your idea. Plus, i need your opinion as my best friend for my total makeover.” Kurt smugged. “you’re really gonna do this? WOW.” Taylor teased him. ” Haha. Come on Tay, I’m SERIOUS.” he shot her a look. ” i was kidding. come on.” just then, Taylor’s cell rang,and she read a sweet message. “Is that your sweet admirer again?” Kurt intrigued. “Yeah. It’s the 18th text today. He wants me to meet him.” she smiled as she read the message again. “oooh. sounds serious. is he really human?” Taylor hit Kurt’s ribs jokingly as they reached the mall.

“okay, and one! two! three! great practice everyone!” Taylor shouted that afternoon, as she finished cheer leading practice. ‘Kurt, where are you?’ she thought. “hey Taylor! Can i hitch a ride with you and Kurt?” Beth, Taylor’s co-cheer leader, asked. “sure. he’ll be here.” Just then, Kurt’s car parked in front of the field. He got out, and as he did, heads turned, and the other cheer leaders turned back to the field. “hey Kurt” Taylor said. She gave him a thumbs up, and grinned as he came closer. Leather jacket, clean jeans, and great haircut. “Taylor, is that Kurt?!” the girls asked. “yup.” In 5 minutes, Kurt was surrounded by the whole high school cheer leading team, complimenting him in this and that. Kurt peered over the crowd, and gave Taylor a thumbs up. ‘IT WORKED!”

‘I never thought he was going to be this popular’. Taylor thought the next day at lunch. She was bombarded by a group of girls, mostly cheerleaders, who ran to the seat next to Kurt at their table. It was a weird place to be, and she felt a pang of jealousy for all the attention Kurt gave to the girls. “WOW Taylor! Kurt really changed! He’s so much HOTTER now.” Beth said during free period. “Yeah. He really changed.” Taylor said. She felt another pang of jealousy and regret. Why did he have to change? she asked herself. “Hey, you think he’s gonna ask me out?”Beth asked after a while. “Um, I dont know. You want me to ask him?” “Really? that would be great!”

Kurt’s new look sky rocketed and every girl was drooling over him. Every guy wanted to be him. He felt proud and he even asked himself why he went gay in the first place, when being a real guy was so much fun. He’s been hangin out with girls, but he hasn’t asked out any of them. He needs someone’s information. His bestfriend’s opinion. One day, he looked for Taylor at the library when he saw her being with Nate, the basketball MVP. He called her, but she kept on giggling that she pretended not to hear him. WOW,she must like him. Kurt thought. Finally,she turned her head to him and walked to his side. “Hey Alex, how’s guydom?” she asked jokingly. “great so far. but remember the plan? i need to ask one girl out.” “so ask one out. pick one.” she looked over her shoulder and winked at Nate. “Why is he with you?” Alex asked.”Well,remember the guy who sent all those sweet messages to me? it was actually Nate!” Her eyes twinkled and her face went red. “Good for you Now,back to me. Who should I ask out?” “um,how about beth? she really seems to be real interested in you.” she said,remembering the conversation they had about Kurt. “yah.maybe.”

The next day, Kurt bought flowers for Beth, as he asked her out. As predicted, she said yes, and Kurt felt relief. He’s not the kind of gay that liked guys. He was just not the manly type. But this date will prove otherwise.

“Hey tay! Guess what?” Kurt bounced when he met his bestfriend at his next class. “Uhm, you’re finally gonna accept that you’re starting to like guys?” She chuckled. He made a serious face. “No. I have a date tonight with Beth.” He grinned and gave her a funny face. She smiled, and said “well,congratulations. Guess I have to find a date as well.” She nodded her head towards Nate, and started her way towards him. Kurt thought she would ask Nate out herself, but then she walked past Nate and went to sharpen her pencil. Nate moved quick, standing beside Taylor. They talked about something, then Taylor walked back to her seat. “Do you have a date or what?” He asked. “Duh.” she said , smiling at Nate’s way. “I’m going on a double date with you and Beth.” When Kurt didn’t say anything, she said, “What, you thought your best friend would let you go out on your very first date alone?” “I didn’t come to YOUR first date.” He replied. “Well, you’re not me. Enough said.” just then, their teacher got in and started class. Taylor winked at Kurt, assuring him that she was NOT joking.

On the night of the “date”, Kurt kept fussing over about Taylor interfering. “Hey Kurt, let’s watch that new movie at the drive-in downtown. What do you say?” Kurt gave her “the stare” that he was already fed up, but Taylor didn’t even look at him. They drove into the movie place, bought tickets and watched the movie. Taylor spent most of her time watching Kurt than paying attention to her date. “Hey Taylor” Nate called. She looked at him and winked, then turned her attention to the movie. Nate tried to move in closer to her, then put one arm behind her. Kurt was watching from behind, since they were sitting in the backseat. ” So Beth, how’s our date so far?” He whispered. “Fine I guess. Taylor keeps creeping me out.” He knew exactly what she was saying. Taylor kept cutting him off mid-sentence every time he makes a mistake, then corrects him. It was quite annoying, though he knew Taylor was just trying to help him impress Beth.

Distracted with his thoughts, he didn’t notice that Nate was already trying to kiss Taylor. She moved fast, dodging Nate’s attempt. “No.” She said. “Come on. Just one smooch.” He licked his lips, then moved closer. “Come on, don’t tell me you won’t kiss the guy who researched all those cheesy stuff on the net for you?” At this, Nate swooped down for a kiss. Taylor’s dislike was obvious, as she pushed him away and wiped her lips of his saliva. Nate sat down on his seat, looking satisfied. Taylor got out of the car and ran.

Kurt ran after her, after getting Beth away from Nate. When he reached the corner, he saw Taylor sitting down, crying. He sat down beside her, and hugged her tight. “Another jerk.” She said, a sob in between. “I thought he would be different, but all he really wanted was to get under my pants.” She sobbed more, while he hugged her tighter. “I wish you were a real guy Kurt, you’d be the best boyfriend in the world.” He didn’t reply to this, he only held her closer to him. “How many frogs do I have I kiss before I find my prince?” She looked up to him now this time, their faces closer to the other more than usual. He looked into her eyes and said “Hey, wanna know if I’m a prince and not a princess?” She nodded, and in a split second he leaned down to kiss her. They both got weirded out by the kiss, and stared at each other. Kurt smiled then said, “Guess I’m a prince.” Taylor looked at him and slapped him. “Ow! What was that for?” She smiled back and said, “Since when were you a prince? I’m your best friend yet you never told be anything!” They both laughed at this, and they both knew that Kurt’s gender wasn’t the only thing that changed in their relationship.

eleven minutes by Paulo Coelho

Eleven minutes. 660 brief seconds. Moments of quick pleasure.

Reading the novel made me think about the current life style of people. Why we spend too much, for a luxury, for a “happiness” that would last only for a few moments. Why we try to look for happiness in mundane possessions, that people would actually believe to think that these temporary gifts of the earth would give them their life purpose. The novel spoke of profound and words that are rarely used in today’s novels. It was so complex, something that could only be understood if you make an effort to take a look at its depth.

The story spoke volumes, of dreams that were never reached, of the things people aim for but were not to brave to actually try and take the chance. It did not only speak of the main character Maria, but it spoke of the different people around the world, struggling to know who they are and what they exactly want from the life they are living in.

Maria merely played the part of a person that lives in everyone of us, a person who wants to really know what else life has to offer. We all want to just let life take control of us, yet we are afraid of losing things, and we are afraid of change.

The story reflected on Maria’s life, how she wanted to run away, how she wanted something new. We all could relate to that. We want to run away from the void that we got used to live in, that we yearn for something new to happen in our life. Most humans dread routine. So we want something new, something that makes our heart pound and make our brain think 10 times than what we were used to. Maria describes how she feels, in the most profound way. It is like, she is speaking with her soul pouring out onto the pages, as if you can feel her emotions rushing through your body as if they were yours.

Yes, the story may be about her becoming a prostitute, yet, aren’t we all? We are prostitutes to the society, giving them all we have, just for some temporary happiness that we might feel once we gain our asking price. The story goes on with the twists and turns of her life, how one man changed her forever, how she could not run away from love. We are like this too, we run away from something, something that may have hurt or scared us. Yet somewhere along the way we found ourselves facing this fear again, and this time, just maybe, we’re strong enough to withstand all that it has to throw at us.

The book surely is a must read for anyone. It may be a bore because of the long paragraphs and what not, but it is worth it. With this I shall end with a quote from the book, “The strongest love, is the love that demonstrates fragility.”

Love as a risk.

Love, I might say, is a risk that people blindly take. You risk the time you give for your self, you risk being hurt, betrayed, pushed aside, or worse, rejected. Love’s a risk that everyone just jumps into, thinking that it’s worth the risk. It’s worth crying at 12am in the morning, then realizing how stupid the reason was. It’s about cringing every time your loves one ignores you, yet you’re happy that that person is in your life anyways. It’s about trying to hide how much you’re hurt, just to protect yourself from hurting yourself more. You try to create this barrier of yourself to avoid being hurt, so you could find out who’s brave enough to take the risk of slowly taking down your guard and letting you know everything is alright. Love is taking the risk of not being loved back, and that I say, is the biggest risk of all.

The first step of love, is risk. The risk of taking a leap, of taking a chance with a person you can see yourself with. A risk of selflessly giving up yourself for that person, giving them everything you can offer. Love is, unknowingly diving into an pitch black pit, and you hope and pray with all your heart that when you reach the bottom, someone is there to catch you. Love is taking the chance of bruising yourself, with all the rocks and stones that maybe thrown at you. Love is taking the risk, knowing that in the end, it would be all worth it. 🙂