Category: Blog
Internet Funnies
The internet is a beautiful place. Sometimes when I can’t write anything, the internet is there for me. Sometimes when I write the internet distracts me. Either way, I couldn’t write anything today, but the internet was there for me for a few laughs!
Good vs. Bad: Why Death takes the good guys first
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This post may be kind of deep, so I’m just going to ask a question for the comments:
Have you ever had someone you know die and you believe they were and Abel? What qualities do they have to be worthy of being called an “Abel?”
The wrong generation
I seriously think I was born to the wrong generation.
Not to insult the time I am in, but I wish I was born during the time when writing was something you were talented in, not a crash course you could take in a day.
Everything seems to have a manual these days, everything has rules, everything has standards. Shakespeare didn’t have one, neither did Hemingway. These men just wrote whenever they wanted to, and now look at them.
Before I decided to be a full on writer, I just wrote like them: in whatever way I wanted to. But then I learned the hard truth about writing: everyone else can do it, even though they don’t have the talent to do so. Isn’t it frustrating? How you could want to write with so much passion, and then wuptidoo lookey here, someone who has connections to a publisher got their book published! How you try so hard to enter a competition you weren’t even comfortable with because more people like those who won awards, and then whoooooosh! A kid who was trained by a professional won.
I’m not really bitter about writing. I love writing. It’s the world that gave writing the wrong definition. Writing should be something shared freely, without rules or boundaries. I mean, I’m just fed up because I’m usually “out there” with my ideas that no one seems to understand.
If only I was born in the time when writing was an art and not a job. I’d even like to live in the time when writing was banned, but I’d still write because I love to. I write because I can’t help it, but I can’t be credited for it because I don’t fit in with everyone’s standards.
Writers read and quote this book.
(I like to be original thank you.)
Writers should write a million words a day.
(Okay maybe just a thousand, but most of us suffer writer’s block)
Writers have to live through being poor or stuff like that.
(Life has already hardships. Now I have to chose to go through them?)
Writers shouldn’t publish their works when submitting to a contest.
(How about us bloggers?)
But how about me? I’m just an eighteen year old girl without a mentor, who lives in the Philippines, struggling to finish college, who doesn’t read Hemingway or Tolstoy, and just wants to write because if I don’t I lose it.
This generation makes struggling writers like me struggle more because of nonsense definitions.
I love to read and write instead of partying or drinking. I rush to the nearest bookstore instead of the nearest sale. I’ve been different my whole life, always lost in a world I’m either reading or creating. I don’t have anyone to relate with, but that’s okay.
If that means that I should try harder, then let it be.
I am Le-an Lai Lacaba, 18 from Tacloban City, Philippines. I will be graduating from college next year, and I’m going to pursue my career as a writer. No matter what anyone says, I’m a writer. And I will sure as hell prove that.
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Just a little rant. I’m just frustrated because weeks after applying for so many jobs and entering competitions, I still have nothing 🙁
The freelance writer advertisement
Book lovin’ babe
Aren’t just there moments in your life when you finish a book and you sigh and think, “I want to read that again.”?
That’s the power of a book. And being an eighteen year old girl who has read more books that the hair follicles on her hair, I know all about it. Funny thing, I first loved writing before I loved reading. Maybe it was because we didn’t have a proper bookstore in our city when I was younger. All I had were my mother’s monthly Reader’s Digest, and a few Sweetvalley High books. But once I got into college three years ago and two bookstores opened up in the city, I piled up on books. And when I discovered e-books, I read more.
Addicted? Yes.
But one day though, I’d love to read my own book like I’ve never seen it before. Like I just bought the book for the heck of it, forgetting that I even wrote it.
Now that I’ve read 600 or so books, I’d love to read more. So I’m going to try and do some book reviews. Free books for my opinion sounds like a great idea.
Another reason I’m going to be a book blogger is that I’m taking a pause from posting my stories and poems online. Every writing competition seems to require that every entry has to be unpublished, so I’m going to take a break for a while. But fear not! Whenever I get published, I’d post it here immediately!
Here’s my new blog, Book Lovin’ Babe! I’m still working out the kinks 🙂
Now off to more reading!
Longer hair, courting soulmates and sweet videos
Helloooooooooooo!
If you’ve been a reader of my blog, you may have read my post when I first started writing Courting my Soulmate in my January 6 post. So first, I’m going to update you on my hair! Definitely longer than the last time, isn’t it?
Anyyyyyywayyyy.
I’ve published my second book on Wattpad! Yes, COURTING MY SOULMATE! Since January 6, I’ve written 24 chapters already, and I’m loving it so I thought I could just post it! There are times when I’m lazy as a Snorlax(pokemon) when I write, so I sometimes need feedback. So I’m posting one chapter per day. The best part? It’s FREEEEEEEEEE. So if you’d like to read it, download the app on your phone or you can read it online. Click HERE. (could this sign be any more obvious?)
Synopsis:
Streetlight
After four months, it lights up our streets. And ultimately, our hearts. |
The fed-up hopeless romantic’s letter
The dark subconscious
I rarely go to this part of my subconscious.
Mostly because people won’t understand. Heck, I don’t understand it.
People always said that writers went to places where they’d weave their stories from. Beautiful creative places where they could make a hit story with just one wave of their hand.
J. M. Barrie. got Neverland.
I got darkness.
I usually get myself busy so I don’t have to travel to the darkest place of my mind. I read, or study, or do chores-anything to take myself away from this place. I surround myself with people. But when I’ve been stuck in a hospital for five days, it does things to me. It takes me there.
Then the bad thoughts come.
I get suicidal thoughts. Lots of them. Sometimes I’d hold my breath just to see if I could die. I don’t. I don’t usually know why I want to die. I just know I’m not scared of death. I just want to end everything. To end trying to be better when this is all I’ve got. To end trying to please people when I really just want to be myself. To end being trapped in a world where everything was messed up, and everywhere you went there was always more cons than pros. To end being a burden to almost everyone. To end everything. Yeah, that sounds nice.
I slowly get insecure, thinking about what a bad writer I am and how I’d never get famous. How I’d die because I got sick all the time. How I’d never reach my dreams, how everyone secretly hated my writing. I get jealous of younger writers getting their work recognised without even trying so hard, while here I am looking for publishers and agents and people who’d get my work. Everything I’ve achieved has been done with me trying so hard. Nothing ever comes easy for me.
I sometimes remember the times when I got bullied. They’d say bad things about me, and it was easier not to care. But when you bully yourself, you slowly eat yourself inside out. You see all the things wrong about you because you know yourself more than anyone else.
I don’t even know why I’m writing this, but I needed to get this out. To get rid of these terrible thoughts that hinder me from finishing my book, from emailing publishers and promoters, hindering me from reaching my dreams. I do want to get there. I do. But I want to do it my way, because I’m too stubborn. Sometimes I just want to do away, anywhere. Just to see if I could do things on my own. Everyone says I should profit from my writing, but I don’t want that. I write for the sake of writing.
I would cry silently, something I’ve mastered through the years. I cry, making sure I feel every aching pain. I let it out, because when I don’t I hyperventilate. I have the need to talk to someone, but I don’t know who to trust. I’m just afraid that everything will backfire.
This usually comes when something triggers a part of my subconscious that I’ve long decided to keep hidden. Or when I get rejected. Or when I remember something that keeps on happening to me. I hope I don’t scare you all, but I just wanted you to see another side of me. Another side of this struggling writer.
That people aren’t always who they seem to be.